Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Monday, June 22, 2020

"God we have a problem. If our sisters marry, we may lose our land."


Numbers Chapter 36: Special Problem of Inheritance in Canaan
Intro to Numbers 36:1-13
Day 96. Just got word today from the Premier of our Province that our City can move to Stage 2 of Re-opening which means: indoor shopping malls can open; barbershops and salons can open; and restaurants can serve meals on their patios only. Social distancing, etc., is still to be maintained, people can only have parties up to 10 individuals at their house, and churches can have worship services at 30% seating capacity. And that’s exactly what we did yesterday at our church, and it went very well.  Thankful for such mercies.  We press on.
Today we have our last study in the book of Numbers. It’s been most interesting but there’s still a few problems to iron out.  Take a look. . .
The Passage
And the heads of the fathers’ households of the family of the sons of Gilead, the son of Machir, the son of Manasseh, of the families of the sons of Joseph, came near and spoke before Moses and before the leaders, the heads of the fathers’ households of the sons of Israel, and they said, “The Lord commanded my lord to give the land by lot to the sons of Israel as an inheritance, and my lord was commanded by the Lord to give the inheritance of Zelophehad our brother to his daughters. But if they [a]marry one of the sons of the other tribes of the sons of Israel, their inheritance will be withdrawn from the inheritance of our fathers and will be added to the inheritance of the tribe to which they belong; thus it will be withdrawn from our allotted inheritance. When the jubilee of the sons of Israel [b]comes, then their inheritance will be added to the inheritance of the tribe to which they belong; so their inheritance will be withdrawn from the inheritance of the tribe of our fathers.”
Then Moses commanded the sons of Israel according to the [c]word of the Lord, saying, “The tribe of the sons of Joseph are right in their statements. This is [d]what the Lord has commanded concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, ‘Let them marry [e]whom they wish; only they must marry within the family of the tribe of their father.’Thus no inheritance of the sons of Israel shall [f]be transferred from tribe to tribe, for the sons of Israel shall each [g]hold to the inheritance of the tribe of his fathers. Every daughter who comes into possession of an inheritance of any tribe of the sons of Israel shall be wife to one of the family of the tribe of her father, so that the sons of Israel each may possess the inheritance of his fathers. Thus no inheritance shall [h]be transferred from one tribe to another tribe, for the tribes of the sons of Israel shall each [i]hold to his own inheritance.”
10 Just as the Lord had commanded Moses, so the daughters of Zelophehad did:11 Mahlah, Tirzah, Hoglah, Milcah and Noah, the daughters of Zelophehad married their uncles’ sons. 12 They married those from the families of the sons of Manasseh the son of Joseph, and their inheritance [j]remained with the tribe of the family of their father.
13 These are the commandments and the ordinances which the Lord commanded to the sons of Israel through Moses in the plains of Moab by the Jordan opposite Jericho.

Footnotes

  1. Numbers 36:3 Lit become wives to, in this ch
  2. Numbers 36:4 Lit shall be
  3. Numbers 36:5 Lit mouth
  4. Numbers 36:6 Lit the thing which
  5. Numbers 36:6 Lit to the good one in their eyes
  6. Numbers 36:7 Lit turn about
  7. Numbers 36:7 Lit cleave
  8. Numbers 36:9 Lit turn about
  9. Numbers 36:9 Lit cleave
  10. Numbers 36:12 Lit was
Thoughts on the Passage
You will remember that Manasseh was to get land on both sides of the Jordan – in Moab (east of Jordan) and some in Canaan, the Promised Land itself. They approached Moses and all the leaders of each tribe with a unique problem.
It seems that the land that was to be Zelophehad (from the tribe of Manasseh, son of Joseph) went to his daughters as he had died and left no sons. (You will remember this story from Numbers 16.) So, the stated the obvious which was if one of these five daughters would marry a man from another tribe, their tribe would lose the inherited land and it would be added to the inheritance of the other tribe from whence the new husband came. And there is also reference to this possibly happening when the next ‘jubilee’ came around.
First, it amazes me that, to be it in one way, the tribes were so tribal. Second, that land was the key commodity here between the tribes. This was their biggest concern. One can understand this to be the case as the story of the chosen people goes back to Abraham and there is great evidence of his involvement with land. And of course, from a human perspective, the most important part of the Covenant that God made with Israel was, to the people, the promised ‘land’ rather than that they would multiply to be more than the stars in the sky, or more important still that they would be God’s people and He would be their God. All three were blessings, but they focused on the least important of the three.
After inquiring of the Lord, as was his custom, Moses reported that those raising the concern were right. And thus, God had commanded that the daughters could marry “whom they wished” as long as it was from the tribe of Joseph. Thus, no land would be transferred to another tribe.
Once again, our Hero God comes to the rescue with a most desirable solution. Several things to note here.  First, the number of people in all of the sons of Israel at the time was large enough that what God suggested would not be a problem. Secondly, we note that the women could marry “whom they wished” (verse 6) as long as it was from the tribe of Joseph or the sub-families therein. And this made sense for these five women as they had no brothers and certainly no father to veto their choice. 
What is not clear for me from this passage was whether this “whom they wished” was subject to the agreement of the next of kin male – their uncles. And if so, we can see the complications here seen they would be selecting males to marry from the sons of these very uncles. And if they were to have the final say, then you could see the uncles vying for the most beautiful of the daughters for their son, etc., etc. Not a pretty scene.  So, God again knew what He was doing when He gave this decision to the sons (and daughters) of Israel.
Some commentators, using verse 13 of the chapter, feel that this solution here was also to be perpetual. Others are silent on that, perhaps thinking that the reference to “commandments and ordinances” in verse 13 really referred to all the other commands and ordinances given earlier in the entire book of Numbers.
One other thing that is not clear for me is whether or not this “whom they will” says anything with respect to our more modern marriages today, at least for the believer. I think at the very least, we may agree that the Bible from this point forward does not call for forced or arranged marriages. At the same time, there is enough precedence to state that the Bible strongly recommends that young people marrying should at least have the blessings of the parents and perhaps even the permission of the spouse’s parents. I know when I got married 49 years ago, I asked for my parents’ blessing and I asked my wife’s parents for my future wife’s hand. Fortunately, everyone was in agreement. I am glad I didn’t have to deal with a “negative” from either side. Not sure what I would have done in 1971.
And verse 10 tells us that in fact, each of the five daughters, married their uncles’ sons so that the land inheritance remained with the tribe of their father.
That means they married their “first cousins” and God allowed it.  But He did that for a purpose and in a particular situation at a particular time in the history of the young sons of Israel. We can note that the Bible forbids sexual relations with “close relatives” – but the children of uncles are not listed among that definition. For a good reference for that very issue, click What about marrying your first cousin?
Wrap-up
Not the greatest way to wrap up the book of Numbers in my opinion, but hey, whatever works for Moses and God.  Clearly, as they enter the Promised Land, we may take this challenge of chapter 36 as one that may well predict that the Israelites will have a lot of problems to deal with going forward. But with their leaders going to God for answers, and with God promising to always be with them, they’ll get the answer they’ll need. And obeying those answers, will bring blessings. The problems arise when one person or a whole nation ignores the instructions God gives to them.
Numbers took us from the Exodus to the doorstep of Canaan, the Promised Land. Almost four decades of experience. Now we need to keep in mind that the next book we will study, Deuteronomy, is not a book which tells us what happens next but rather is a series of farewell messages by Moses addressed primarily to the new generation that is about to enter the land. These occur during the forty years, not afterwards. Hang in there.

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.

Tuesday, April 07, 2020

Are our Heads of Christian Religions (Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant) Satisfying Scripture?

Leviticus 21:10-15 Laws Concerning the High Priest
Day 20 and still self-isolating and keeping my distance. Not that there are many people out there to keep one’s distance from. We went for our 6.4 kilometre walk and saw a few other brave souls in the distance.  Buses were running empty. Now back home we continue with our projects waiting to hear some sense about reopening our world in the near future.  
As part of enjoyable routine, I am continuing my study in Leviticus.  Thanks for joining me.  Read on.
The Passage
10 ‘The priest who is the highest among his brothers, on whose head the anointing oil has been poured and who has been consecrated to wear the garments, shall not uncover his head nor tear his clothes; 11 nor shall he approach any dead person, nor defile himself even for his father or his mother; 12 nor shall he go out of the sanctuary nor profane the sanctuary of his God, for the consecration of the anointing oil of his God is on him; I am the Lord. 13 He shall take a wife in her virginity. 14 A widow, or a divorced woman, or one who is profaned by harlotry, these he may not take; but rather he is to marry a virgin of his own people, 15 so that he will not profane his offspring among his people; for I am the Lord who sanctifies him.’”
Thoughts on the Passage
In the first 9 verses of this chapter, God outlines some strong requirements or commands for priests. But in this section, verses 10 to 15 He zeroes in on some additional, or rather more stringent aspects of some of those requirements for the “high priest”.
To begin with, it is clear that God considers the high priest to be the highest or most senior person in the priesthood with a very special role and responsibility. There seems, therefore, to be a precedent for having a “head” of a religion – think of the Pope for the Catholics; or the Ecumenical Patriarch and Archbishop of Constantinople, currently Bartholomew I, of the Orthodox Church; and various denominational heads in the Protestant faith. God believes in order and certainly knows that we need some kind of order. The issue for us believers is first how are those leaders chosen and secondly what rights do they really have. Unfortunately, we forget they are all mere humans.
The second thing that God orders for the high priest is that he not be defiled by a dead person, and unlike the priests below him, he is not to be defiled by even the dead body of his own mother or father.
And then the next order (verse 13) may require some thinking. When God says, the high priest, “shall take a wife in her virginity” does He only mean it, if and when, the high priest intends to marry or that the high priest must marry? Personally, I’m taking the translation literally as an order and I believe that is supported by the wording in verse 14 where it says, “but rather he is to marry a virgin of his own people.” Maybe God knows something about man and for the sake of God’s holiness and the holiness of the church such a leader is to represent, this makes absolute sense.
Now I know that the Apostle Paul says that not everyone has to marry. I get that. But last time I checked, while Paul was, and is, a favorite of Christians, he never claimed to be the head of the church – anything but. If anyone may be said to be deemed the head of the church, it is the Apostle Peter towards whom Christ uttered the statement, “You are Cephas, the Rock, upon which I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)
So, where does that leave the Catholic Church with an unmarried Pope? And if the high priest is to be a model for the lower priests (as they are to be a model for us), where does that leave many an unmarried priest in terms of the church’s ‘social order’?  Sometimes I wonder just how badly we have screwed things up, and yet, the Church is God’s one and only way to accomplish His Plan for mankind.  We press on.

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.

Sunday, July 22, 2018

These Authors Know Their Stuff When It Comes To Marriage

Prayer, Marriage, and the Leadership Roles
of the Husband and Wife

Authors: Bishop Ken Giles and Pastor Sheila Giles
Publisher:Self-published, 2016


In many respects this is a book that has a lot of the same advice and guidance that many other books on the topic of Christian marriage have. And yet, it presents that advice from a perspective that nicely surprised (and pleased) an experienced counsellor, marriage mediator, and marriage mentor coach like me.  Let me explain.
The aims of authors Ken and Sheila Giles are two-fold and clear: First, that prayer becomes the highest priority in the lives of those who read it.  Second, that readers understand how the proper working of the husband and wife in their respective leadership roles secures the blessings of God in the marriage, family and broader society.
The book has some zingers in it and one of my favorites is “If more believers prayed about whether or not to get into marriage, there would be far fewer looking to get out of marriage.” Another one is, “Blanket apologies (those lacking in details) often serve the purpose of covering up sin as well.”There’s no pulling the wool over their eyes. 
Marriages, they say, that are conceived in prayer have a greater likelihood of remaining so. Through the many short chapters, the authors explain how the “lack of prayer” impacts a multitude of outcomes.  These include: covering up or hiding sin in the marriage; blame in the marriage; negative actions with negative consequences; listening to the wrong voice; lost peace; and averting blessings and advancing curses.
In part two of their book, Ken and Sheila spell out the God-given roles of a righteous man and righteous woman, and the importance of positioning ourselves well in that role while we exist in a fallen society. They have a very unique way of getting their points across. One example is their contention that the worldly wisdom that “all men are dogs” is false. Why? Because we need to “remember that a male dog needs a female dog to make pups.”
Where we may part company (to a certain extent only) with the authors is their interpretation of I Corinthians 3:13 and the meaning of ‘the fire’ in that verse.  They see the fire that reveals a man’s true work is ‘the woman’.  It’s a fascinating concept and well worth the read. I checked four prominent Bible commentators, and none even came close to agreeing with them. In context, and with some literary license, I can identify to a certain extent with what they are trying to say – clearly figuratively.  You’ll need to read their arguments and find out for yourself. In any case, their conclusions about our separate roles are bang on.
There is an interesting section where they compare the role of a godly woman to the superhero character in the cartoon, “The Incredibles”.
There are numerous spiritual gems throughout the material. Here is a quote from one I really liked: “The man who is not in pursuit of God’s will for his life will perceive, view, and treat the woman of God negatively and devalue her true qualifications. In some cases, her true value will go ignored and uncultivated.”
There’s also a great chapter on what Satan, through society and entertainment, is doing today.  It’s got some incredible statistics in it as well as some actions for believers.
Here is another quote, tying things all together for us: “The man of God must stay in the word of God, stay on his knees and seek God’s guidance and direction at all times. The man of God must love and honor the woman of God, minister to her, care for and nurture her.”
Their closing point in the main part of the book is most refreshing, as they write: “In case you missed the exchange above [on the topic of God’s covenant with Abraham],Abraham’s destiny was tied to Sarah’s destiny [she needed to have the heir through which the blessing would come]. The same is true with every married man who has a God-given vison for his home.  Women: we (men) need you.
Part three provides the reader with a copy of the 25-question “Christian Marriage and Family Structure Assessment Inventory” complete with the questions, the scoring guide, scoring outcomes and the associated Scripture references for each of the questions. A most helpful resource for singles who want to check their “values” compatibility prior to getting married, for married couples who want to improve their marriages by encouraging dialogue on these issues, and for ministry leaders in the area of marriage counselling and mentoring.
This little book (only 72 pages) is a gem.

n Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, July 22, 2018, www.accordconsulting.com

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

‘Smart Guys’ Could Well Benefit Too

The Smart Gal’s Guide thru Divorce:
“What Lawyers don’t tell you.”
Author: Sara A., Co-contributor: Sandra D.
Publisher: WestBow Press, Bloomington, IN, 2016

The Smart Gal's Guide Thru Divorce by Sara a

It is no secret that some of my income comes from mediating separation and/or divorce agreements/settlements, or in some cases, where a party refuses to cooperate, to assist the other party in pursuit of a settlement/finalization, even through the legal system, if necessary. It is not an enjoyable job, especially where children are involved. But sometimes the pursuit of separation and/or divorce is the only viable option for the safety and welfare (physical and/or psychological) of one of the parties, let alone the children if there are any. It was for this reason that I agreed to review Sara A’s book.
The Smart Gal’s Guide thru Divorce: “What Lawyers don’t tell you.” was written specifically for women, but ‘smart’ men should read it too. Sara A. is well qualified to provide this level of ‘guidance’ to others. After all, she’s been divorced twice herself.’
The premise of the book is that you can’t do this – go through a divorce – successfully, that is, alone. You need a good lawyer, a divorce coach, an organization that provides solid answers to your questions, and of course, a manual to guide you through the process.
Nowhere does the author or her co-contributor, Sandra D., suggest that you can do this without a lawyer. Lawyers are a ‘must have’ – especially for complex cases and/or where one or both parties can’t be civil in the way they approach discussions and negotiations. But, depending on the jurisdiction the divorce is pursued in, there are alternatives (e.g. mediated settlement; or collaborative family law process; etc.) that the authors don’t spend much time on. The guide uses the legal requirements of the state of Texas as a template, so readers will have to acquire, consider and adjust for their own state or province, as appropriate.
With those two caveats, this ‘guide’ is a great place for anyone hit with the possibility of a divorce to begin their investigation into what the process is all about. Above all, they will learn that they are not alone – myriads have gone through this process before and myriads more will go through it in the future. The guide allows them to get informed, get organized, be prepared, and keep their heads on.
Throughout the pages, there is some solid advice – not to mention some real ‘gems’. Among the latter, there are the chapters on Calendaring; Documenting; Organizing; Empowering; and Forgiving, to name a few. A good portion of the book deals with finding, interviewing, and handling your ‘lawyer’. Also prominent is material dealing with all the associated expenses, other financial matters and how to maximize your dollars’ power.
The authors are part of an organization called “Divorce Buddys” that helps women throughout the process and much of the book is based on their advice. Of interest, are the two main Appendices – “Over 25 Key-Areas of Concern” and “The 30 Most-Costly Mistakes”. Those alone are worth the price of the book.
Recommended for all those that just don’t know where to begin – when they’ve decided that they need to pursue separation or divorce, or when they’ve been served with papers to the same end.

n  Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, June 13, 2017. www.accordconsulting.com

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.