Connecting With Coincidence: The New Science for Using Synchronicity
and Serendipity in Your Life
Author: Bernard D. Beitman, MD
Published by: Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL,
2016
In our society, the word
“coincidence” is well understood by almost everyone by the time they reach ten
years of age, if not younger. Coincidences are observed by us all and most of
us are quick to explain their happening either as a mystery (an act of God for
the believer) or strictly an event that occurred randomly (by chance). I was no
exception, although I employed (and still do) both plausible causes identified
above, depending on the circumstances under which a coincidence occurred and
its significance. Therefore, it was easy for me to agree to review this book
when given an opportunity by the distributor. That decision, however, resulted
in a personal challenge.
Psychiatrist Dr. Bernard Beitman is
a brilliant author. His book is professionally laid out in three main sections.
In part 1, his aim is to convince us (it does not take much) that weird
coincidences do commonly take place; part 2 is dedicated to how one can
integrate coincidences into their life; and part 3 is devoted to the serious
reader who wants to more closely examine a new ‘theory’ about coincidences. [Beitman
more correctly uses the term ‘theory’ here as compared to the sub-title of his
book where he uses ‘science’ to describe his beliefs.] In this last part he
introduces us to what he calls the ‘psychosphere’, or mental atmosphere, where
we all, in his view, subtlety exchange forms of energy and information with
each other.
As the author is a medical doctor
as well as a psychoanalyst, we get to learn some very interesting things (e.g.
twins joined at the head are called ‘craniopagus’ twins; those who have
identical medical issues in hospitals heal faster if their bed is by a window;
and so on). And he asks some very interesting questions such as “Why is joy not
shared at a distance in the same way as negative painful emotions?” which he
then proceeds to answer as best he can.
Beitman is both a realist and very
clever. Examples of the former are that he admits his mathematically inclined
colleagues and people of faith, would say coincidences are examples of random
chance at work or God, respectively. Examples of the latter are his statement
that he couldn’t convince either of them otherwise as “theirs is a fixed belief”
in the laws of probability or God’s total involvement in our lives.
As a ‘religious scientist’, the
author believes that we use our “God-given abilities to influence the way we,
and others, live.” There’s something that sounds right with that, but does it
go far enough?
Beitman describes the environment
in which we are most likely to notice coincidences in our lives. These include
high emotions as well as being in a state of transition.
He is also very careful to caution
us on the misuse of coincidences. At one
point he describes a couple that married as a result of coincidences, but the
marriage didn’t last long because marriages he writes, “must be maintained
through trust, commitment, caring and consistency.” The book is full of useful “ideas” and
suggests which he identifies with an icon of a light bulb. One of them is the
thought that while “coincidences (may) deserve a seat at the table of your
romance – they don’t deserve to be the decider-in-chief.” He also deals with “library
angels” and “internet angels” – a more recent form of coincidences.
In a section entitled, How Romance Coincidences Are Created,
Beitman describes the fourth step in the process as “The person often enters an
altered state of consciousness.” And that’s where he loses me. He does, however, indicate that those who
know useful coincidences commonly occur come to expect them as part of daily
life. My experience is that whether one does or does not expect them, the same
coincidences would happen – that is, albeit one who is not looking for them may
miss them but they would still occur in the absence of expectation.
Part 1 is full of examples of
coincidences that have been recorded through family ties, friends, colleagues,
acquaintances, health situations, ideas in the air, timely money, pets, and
work. One cannot argue with what
happened in these stories. One only has the option of assigning a cause to the coincidences.
For example, one person prayed to God for money and he was led to where he
found it. He “believed that God guided him to the money.” But Beitman believes
the person himself played a collaborative role with God in finding the
money. I can even buy that. After all, God is the One who has given us a
brain and a memory with which to think and reason things out and act
accordingly.
Throughout the book, the author
talks about “base rates” with respect to various probabilities of things
happening randomly. But while he walks us verbally through one example, he
never uses number for one reason or another, and that would have helped
greatly. While he believes we can take steps to increase our ability to notice
and take advantage of coincidences in our lives, he also quotes the old saying,
“The dog that trots about in the right places finds the bone.” So maybe it is more
about perseverance, being optimistic, learning from failure, and relying on
intuition than anything else.
In the last section of the book,
Beitman tries to show us how “simulpathity” (connecting with the experience of
others at a distance without knowing how we do it) and “Human GPS” (finding our
way to people, things and ideas without consciously knowing how) together get
us to “loved ones in distress whose location we don’t know” just in time to
save them. While he argues well for his case, that still is not an idea I am
willing to swallow as it is based on there being “mechanisms by which energy-information
is converted into electrical nerve impulses the brain can process into emotion
and behavior.”
As a creationist, I parted company
with Beitman when he wrote near the end of his book, “I believe that our physical being seems to have emerged from a
primordial soup, a rich mixture of energy (perhaps electricity) and information
(perhaps simple molecules).” May I suggest, perhaps just a theory. This
psychosphere leads us, in his mind, to “the One Mind, of Consciousness, of the
Universe, of God” and to the realization that we are all one and the same. All
bringing déjà vu of Shirley Maclaine’s “I am God” philosophy. I was hoping scientists had gotten past that
these days, but alas, perhaps not.
While Dr.Beitman has a lot of
things right, including about the internet and social media, I would take issue
with him on his conclusion that the “spread of personal qualities through
social networks adds yet more evidence for the existence of the group mind and,
by extension, the psychosphere.” In reality, it can also point towards our
great diversity of mind.
So, who is this book for? A lot of people who know the word “coincidences”
and want to learn much more about how they may happen and the related theories
that try to explain them. It should however be read with a critical mind for
once we try to explain something like this beyond the two traditional
explanations, we are wading into waters where true science can only accompany
us so far, and the rest is simply conjecture. We’re on our own.
Now, just in case you think I am
being too tough on the author and the book, let me share with you the
following: When I was about to start my careful reading of Part 2 of Dr.
Beitman’s book (while taking in the sun and the beach at Garden City, S.C.), I
stopped and checkd my phone in case there was a free wi-fi around. Just prior to that I had been reading (in his
book) about Oprah Winfrey’s audition for the role of Sophia in the film, The
Color Purple. In my search for free wi-fi, up came two possibilities, one of
which was Purple Rain. I intentionally wrote a note about what had just
happened and observed, in the margin of the book, and then checked the wi-fi availability
again. ‘Purple Rain’ was gone. Was this
coincidence? Did I really see it on my phone?
Who knows? At least I noticed it
and Dr. Beitman would have been quite pleased, I’m sure.
By Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord
Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, May 13, 2016. www.accordconsulting.com
Get the book here: http://astore.amazon.com/accorconsu-20
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