‘Smart Guys’ Could Well Benefit Too

The Smart Gal’s Guide thru Divorce:

“What Lawyers don’t tell you.”

Author: Sara A., Co-contributor: Sandra D.

Publisher: WestBow Press, Bloomington, IN, 2016

It is no secret that some of my income comes from mediating separation and/or divorce agreements/settlements, or in some cases, where a party refuses to cooperate, to assist the other party in pursuit of a settlement/finalization, even through the legal system, if necessary. It is not an enjoyable job, especially where children are involved. But sometimes the pursuit of separation and/or divorce is the only viable option for the safety and welfare (physical and/or psychological) of one of the parties, let alone the children if there are any. It was for this reason that I agreed to review Sara A’s book.

The Smart Gal’s Guide thru Divorce: “What Lawyers don’t tell you.” was written specifically for women, but ‘smart’ men should read it too. Sara A. is well qualified to provide this level of ‘guidance’ to others. After all, she’s been divorced twice herself.’

The premise of the book is that you can’t do this – go through a divorce – successfully, that is, alone. You need a good lawyer, a divorce coach, an organization that provides solid answers to your questions, and of course, a manual to guide you through the process.

Nowhere does the author or her co-contributor, Sandra D., suggest that you can do this without a lawyer. Lawyers are a ‘must have’ – especially for complex cases and/or where one or both parties can’t be civil in the way they approach discussions and negotiations. But, depending on the jurisdiction the divorce is pursued in, there are alternatives (e.g. mediated settlement; or collaborative family law process; etc.) that the authors don’t spend much time on. The guide uses the legal requirements of the state of Texas as a template, so readers will have to acquire, consider and adjust for their own state or province, as appropriate.

With those two caveats, this ‘guide’ is a great place for anyone hit with the possibility of a divorce to begin their investigation into what the process is all about. Above all, they will learn that they are not alone – myriads have gone through this process before and myriads more will go through it in the future. The guide allows them to get informed, get organized, be prepared, and keep their heads on.

Throughout the pages, there is some solid advice – not to mention some real ‘gems’. Among the latter, there are the chapters on Calendaring; Documenting; Organizing; Empowering; and Forgiving, to name a few. A good portion of the book deals with finding, interviewing, and handling your ‘lawyer’. Also prominent is material dealing with all the associated expenses, other financial matters and how to maximize your dollars’ power.

The authors are part of an organization called “Divorce Buddys” that helps women throughout the process and much of the book is based on their advice. Of interest, are the two main Appendices – “Over 25 Key-Areas of Concern” and “The 30 Most-Costly Mistakes”. Those alone are worth the price of the book.

Recommended for all those that just don’t know where to begin – when they’ve decided that they need to pursue separation or divorce, or when they’ve been served with papers to the same end.

n  Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, June 13, 2017. www.accordconsulting.com

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