Author’s Brutal Honesty Could Help Save Your Life, Marriage

Hanging On To Hope: From Marriage to Divorce Thru Depression

To Remarriage And What God Taught Me Along The Way

Author: Annette Newcomb

Published by: Westbow Press, Bloomington, IN, 2016

This is the incredible true life account of a woman who for all intents and purposes, could be you, your spouse, your sister, your mother, or your friend. I would be astonished if anyone read the whole book without saying “that’s me to a T” or “that’s my. . .” at several points in the story.

Annette Newcomb shares her personal experiences, thoughts, relationships with her husband, life with her sons, and her reliance on friendships very transparently and in a way that allows all of us to identify with her struggles, fears, disappointments, and hopes. Interwoven through her life story which includes loss of a loved one, battles with cancer, suicide attempts, illness of a child, severe financial troubles, a rebellious teenager, a wonderful marriage turned awful through abuse, divorce, and later the discovery that she is bipolar, is her constant conversation with God. What she needed was ‘hope’ and there was no better place to find it than in a relationship with God through prayer and the study of His Word.

If there is anyone in our modern typical North American society that knows trials and tribulations, it is Annette.  Short of living in extreme poverty, under constant war, being used in the sex trade, or controlled by a gang, Annette’s earthly problems ranked way up there. But through it all she discovers, sometimes through a friend, sometimes through her own study, or the words of a pastor, that God gives to His children without ‘finding fault’; that He can be trusted if when He doesn’t tell us why we are going through something awful; that we have to come to the place where if God were to withdraw His blessing and it would not affect our trust in Him; that He will be ‘with’ us through the difficult waters; and that God didn’t talk about ‘if’ difficulties come our way, but ‘when’ they do.

Newcomb at one point cries out for God to bring along an older, wiser man that her husband could talk with, pray with, and discuss his issues with, but God fails to comply. As I read that, I wondered if it was not so much that God did not want to provide a positive response to her plea, but that there just are not enough such Godly men around. If that’s the case, what a sad commentary on our society. But still, Annette never judges anyone in this book and in fact, goes out of her way to explain how she understands all who have gone through the various life experiences she has, including divorce as a Christian.

In the process of sharing her life, the author recommends several great resources for Christians and married couples. The section on the reconciliation between her ex-husband and herself was described with great candor.  It reminded me of the movie Fireproof (2008), only this was for real. Another part of her honesty is evident when in several places throughout the book, Newcomb identifies some bad decision she made alone and some she made with her husband.

While marriage, “the only relationship we have here on earth that compels us to exhibit each of the fruits of the Spirit on a daily basis” is her main thrust, Newcomb also spends considerable time discussing her observation of how our churches and individual Christians treat mental illness today, shows us how that can change, and pleads for us to make it happen.

This is a book that will touch anyone who reads it. It is also a book that should be given to anyone contemplating marriage.  I intend to use it with the pre-marital counselling I do. It is also an excellent resource for married couples. But above all, it will change the way you view your life, your family, your marriage, and your relationship with God.  Put another way, it will help you know, seek, and find hope.

By Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, August 9, 2016. www.accordconsulting.com

Get the book here: http://astore.amazon.com/accorconsu-20

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God Says "You Don't Need To Make a Deal" with Your Enemies.

God Says No Spiritual Multi-Culturalism and No Deal

Exodus 23:31-33: “And I will fix your boundary from the Red Sea to the sea of the Philistines, and from the wilderness to the River Euphrates; for I will deliver the inhabitants of the land into your hand, and you will drive them out before you. You shall make no covenant with them or with their gods. They shall not live in your land, lest they make you sin against Me; for if you serve their gods, it will surely be a snare to you.”

Back in the wilderness, thousands of years ago, God told the Israelites that He would “fix the boundaries of their land that He was giving them”.  And then the text goes on to describe the Promised Land for the Israelites.

Take a look at the description given in these verses and then check it out on a map.
On the south: The Red Sea
On the west: Somewhere in the “wilderness” from Egypt (Gulf of Suez) to modern-day Israel (north of the Gulf of Aqaba)
On the north: The Great Sea (sea of the Philistines, now also called the Mediterranean Sea)
On the east: The Euphrates River (beyond a part of Syria today).

Now compare that massive expanse of land to the property that modern-day Israel is fighting for and protecting as a nation today – only a small portion of what God had promised them. And still many of the world powers want them to give that up, too. They would rather have them homeless – without a land to call their own. Their enemies – primarily the Palestinians and the Iranians -- want them to be erased from the face of the earth.

In my humble opinion, there is a possibility that God not only will make sure they keep what they have, but that it is possible He may, before this is all over, in a miraculous way give them now what He promised them in the book of Exodus, or some of it. That makes for interesting observing in the years ahead. Even the Nuclear Deal agreed to by world powers with Iran this past week will change what God has in store for His people and for their enemies. (Of course, in the very end, it really will not matter, because God’s people will have it all.)

God told the Israelites that their enemies would be delivered ‘by Him’ into their hands so that ‘they’ can drive them out of the land that is to be theirs. The truth is that Israel has never actually taken over all of that land (save for a short period in the times of King David, only to lose it again because of their sin). David Guzik explains this by saying that God may “grant” but we need to “possess”. He says, “(God) withholds our possession of many blessings until we will partner with Him in bold faith and obedience.”

Like the Israelites, we too, Guzik says, have “been granted every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ; but will only possess what we will partner with Him in faith and obedience to receive. God is not an indulgent, spoiling father, pouring out on His children resources, blessings, and gifts they are not ready to receive or be responsible with.”  And there once again we see the reference to two of the three key elements we had earlier discovered are the secret to a great life with and for God: total trust (reliance on God); total obedience; and committed service.  If the Israelites did not get what God promised them it was not because He changed the rules. And the same is true in our case.  We claim God’s promises and are ticked off when we don’t get them, but we fail to examine how short we fell on our side of the agreement.

And then God says, “You shall make no pact with your enemies or with their gods.” The promise of the land was conditional also to this requirement – that they should make no agreement of friendship, nor have any familiarity with idol-worshippers, or with their idols or gods. And God goes even further by telling them such people shall not be allowed to live in their land or travel in it without first renouncing their idolatry.  So, what does this tell us about modern-day immigration laws?

I am not so sure that what God proposes is so much an immigration issue as the need for His people to avoid both His reproach and that of other believers as a result of having a close relationship with the worshippers of false gods. Now, who does that include today? Well, in one sense, just about everyone who does not accept, as the Apostle Peter utters in Matthew 16:16 that Jesus Christ is “the Son of the living God” and has accepted Him as his/her own personal Savior. That’s a lot of people.  Did God mean for us not to ‘associate’ with non-believers? Absolutely not – just look at the example of Jesus in the New Testament.  No, the intent of the instruction here for us is not to have “intimacy” and that may mean different things to different people. For me, it means do not rely on them, do not obey them where their instructions contradict what God is wanting of us, and do not serve them or the things or idols they serve. It means do not intermarry with them.

In the days of the Exodus, it may well have made sense that before someone comes to live in the land controlled by the Israelites, they had to become monotheists and agree to worship the Living God of Abraham. That would make a lot of sense today, but it’s far too late for that, as we’ve already given up idea of unification between ‘church and state’.  We have dichotomized our very essence be separating the two. But yet God never intended that way.

And God says there’s a good reason for religious (not racial) separation. Matthew Henry spells out the implication. There’s a “. . . danger of being drawn to worship with them. By familiar converse with idolaters, (our) dread and detestation of the sin would wear off; (we) would think it no harm, in compliment to (our) friends, to pay some respect to their gods, and so by degrees would be drawn into the fatal snare.” Henry, writing many years ago even points out the dangers of living in a ‘bad neighborhood’ for the sins of others will be our snares, if we look not well to ourselves.” (Italics and bracketed parts mine.) Of course, millions of people living today in the only places they can afford to live are proving that to be true. With murders and drug deals taking place regularly, these people know their only hope for survival is to move away.

But the main point Henry makes is this: “We must always look upon our greatest danger to be from those that would cause us to sin against God. Whatever friendship is pretended, that is really our worst enemy that draws us from our duty.” Amen. What relationships do you and I have that would qualify for that?

And by the way, just what did happen to the Israelites with respect to this promise and this warning?  David Guzik writes, “Through lack of discernment, Israel did end up making a covenant with some of the people of the land.” We read about it in Joshua 9. But we also know that there is no area of the law that Israel - or anyone - has ever kept perfectly. And thus, if we were honest, we cannot expect God to bless us fully in them, although in His magnificent grace and love, He does much more than we deserve.

And we will never be in a position where we have to make a “deal” with those that oppose God in order to protect ourselves. Unfortunately, our world leaders do so out of fear or political convenience and nations pay the price.

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An Ideal Father- and Son-in-law Relationship -- Exodus 18:7-9

Then Moses went out to meet his father-in-law, and he bowed down and kissed him; and they asked each other of their welfare, and went into the tent.  And Moses told his father-in-law all that the Lord had done to Pharaoh and to the Egyptians for Israel’s sake, all the hardship that had befallen them on the journey, and how the Lord had delivered them.  And Jethro rejoiced over all the goodness which the Lord had done to Israel, in delivering them from the hand of the Egyptians.
 

Once he received the notice that his father-in-law Jethro, his wife Zipporah, and his two boys, Gershom and Eliezer, were on their way, Moses went out to meet them.  As far as Scripture records, the focus was on Jethro. “Moses went out to meet his father in law” our text reads.  That does not mean he did not greet his wife and sons – only that the author of Exodus (Moses himself much later) wanted the readers of his account to stick with the main thrust of this section, namely the advice that Jethro was about to share.

Moses bows down and kisses Jethro. Now I realize this is more due to the customs and traditons of the day, although the practice remains alive in a number of European and Middle Eastern countries today.  In our modern Western culture, a firm handshake and/or embrace with a big and sincere smile would be the equivalent.  Anything more than that would be a bonus.  And then they engaged in finding out how each other was doing – a two-way interest.  It was not all about Moses, and it certainly was not all about Jethro.

The text says that they “went into the tent”.  Even though it was a temporary setup, it was ‘home’ to Moses and he welcomed his father-in-law in it.  I am thankful my wife and I are welcomed in the homes of all our children and sons- and daughter-in-law.  How sad it must be for those parents who are not.  If you are a child or a child-in-law today that has for one reason or another been the cause of not having your parents or in-laws welcomed in your home, I ask you to reconsider what you can do to change that, and take appropriate action.  If you are a parent or an in-law whose pride or attitude keeps you from visiting your child’s home, I ask you to reconsider your stance and do whatever it takes to change that.  Life is too short to live it out the way you currently are.  This is not the way God meant us to live our lives.

I know there are some situations I just do not understand.  Fair enough; but God does.  All I ask is that you do your part again and again to bring about the God-honoring change.

Once in Moses’ home, Jethro is brought up to date on what God, not Moses, had done to Pharaoh and the Egyptians for the sake of Israel.  He shared what hardships the Israelites met on the journey and how the Lord delivered them.  What do you and I talk about when we meet our children or sons- and daughters-in-law?  In fact, what do we talk about when we meet with our friends for dinner?  I am amazed and greatly disappointed even in my own weakness in this regard.  Why is it so uncomfortable for us to talk about what God has been, and is, doing in our lives?  Why is that not a priority?  I would challenge us all to make a more concerted effort to talk about the One who really is what “it’s all about” in our lives when we meet with others.  And who better to start with than our own family members?

What was Jethro’s response?  The text says, he “rejoiced”.  But note what he rejoiced about – “over all the goodness that the Lord had done to Israel in delivering them from the Egyptians”.  If there is anything I want to rejoice about, it is the knowledge of knowing that God is active in the lives of my children through some very difficult trials and tribulations and that they are still in tune with Him enough to defeat the Enemy and be delivered from his evil.  To my children and to all the ‘children’ of the world let me say that you need to understand that is your Christian parent’s greatest desire.  You need to know that.  I pray that you will do your part in honoring it.

[Are you looking for a speaker at your church, your club, school, or organization? Ken is available to preach, teach, challenge, and/or motivate. Please contact us.]

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Joseph Instructs His Brothers To Take Action - Genesis 45:9-15

“Hurry and go up to my father, and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, “God has made me lord of all Egypt; come down to me, do not delay.  You shall live in the land of Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children and your flocks and your herds and all that you have.  There I will also provide for you, for there are still five years of famine to come, and you and your household and all that you have would be impoverished.”’  Behold, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see, that it is my mouth which is speaking to you.  Now you must tell my father of all my splendor in Egypt, and all that you have seen; and you must hurry and bring my father down here.”  Then he fell on his brother Benjamin’s neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck.  He kissed all his brothers and wept on them, and afterward his brothers talked with him.

After declaring himself to his brothers and telling them that they are not to blame themselves for the situation they are now in, but rather that it was God who orchestrated all of this for their own survival so that His promises to their great-grandfather Abraham, their grandfather Isaac, and their father Jacob would be fulfilled, Joseph now turns his attention to the action they must take.

His first concern was that they return to their father and give him the good news that his long-lost son, Joseph, is alive and well and has a message for him.  Note that he wanted them to “hurry”.  Joseph realized the importance of time given Jacob’s age.  He also wants Jacob to know that indeed God has made him successful and “lord of all Egypt”.  In essence, Joseph wanted his dad to know that God did indeed make his dreams a reality.  Joseph instructs his brothers to tell Jacob he wants him to come to him in Egypt and live there in a place called Goshen, and be blessed.  He was saying, “This is all of God’s general blessing that He promised you”.  Not only will Jacob be near Joseph, but his whole family and all their children will move there and be together with their flocks and herds.

And there’s more.  Joseph wants his father to know he will provide for Jacob and the family because there was still five more years of famine left to survive through.  He also wanted Jacob to know the consequences of his not coming to join him in Egypt.  He tells the brothers to tell Jacob they would die if they remained where they were.  We need to realize the significance of that in Jacob’s mind.  Not only would he want to live as long as he could as we all do, but I believe Joseph knew that Jacob would readily understand the impact of death on the God’s promise for Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob – the promise that God would build a nation out of the Israelites and that all the nations of the earth would be blessed through them.

As I write this, a question comes to my mind.  Imagine if Jacob had said, “No way!  We’re not going to Egypt.  We’ll stay right here and die off.”  What if God’s enemy had gotten to Jacob as only the Devil could do and have him reject Joseph’s offer?  What would that have meant for Israel and for us?  Of course, this line of thinking and questioning would lead us to a number of other topics including free will, God’s foreknowledge, etc.  I raise it only because some others reading this might.  Personally, I am satisfied God would have seen His plan worked out one way or another, for no matter how hard man -- with or without the help of the Enemy tries -- he cannot thwart God’s intentions.

Then Joseph addresses the brothers directly telling them that they are ‘eye witnesses’ to his existence and success.  He wants them, and Benjamin, to be his witnesses to their father Jacob.  Why he mentions Benjamin separately we do not know, except that perhaps he considers Benjamin very special and his only full-brother.  But what I noted here in Joseph’s reference to his brothers being witnesses is the parallelism between this and what Christ asked of his disciples as His ministry on earth was ending.  In fact, He continues to ask each of us to be His witness to others; to share with others what He has done for us.  We were not asked to be his “super salesmen”, only his witnesses.

When Joseph stopped speaking, he broke down again emotionally and hugged and kissed his brothers, crying on each of them, beginning with Benjamin.  Joseph not only provided for his brothers physically; he not only told them of his desire to take care of them and Jacob the rest of their lives; but he actually showed his love and affection to them.  He was willing to demonstrate his own weakness, lowering his guard and setting aside his position, to weep with them.  This is a watershed moment in the life of Joseph but one that brings about healing.  Verse 3 of this 45^th chapter of Genesis ends with the words, “But his brothers could not answer him…”.  This current passage ends with the phrase “…and afterward his brothers talked with him.”  The relationship had been reconciled.

How are our relationships?  Is there a watershed moment we need to initiate and experience?  Are we ready to serve and to love and to show it unequivocally?  If there is such a moment that is required and we are not ready to bring it about, we may very well be hindering God’s plan for others and us.  That is an awesome responsibility but it is also an awesome opportunity He gives us.  I pray God will help us recognize its importance

Thanks for dropping by.  Sign up to receive free updates.  We bring you relevant information from all sorts of sources.  Subscribe for free to this blog or follow us by clicking on the appropriate link in the right side bar.  And please share this blog with your friends.   Ken Godevenos, Church and Management Consultant, Accord Consulting.

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Weeping Loudly - Genesis 45:2

And he wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard of it.

Joseph wept loudly.  The austere ruler was reduced to sobbing tears.  The man that ruled Egypt’s economy, being second only to the Pharaoh, finally had all his pent up emotions overpower his ability to contain them and it all came out.  Even those he had ordered out of his presence so they would not be party to what humanly would appear like weakness became aware of his uncontrollable and intense crying.

In Genesis chapter 44, verse 14, we are told that this scene takes place in Joseph’s house.  Yet here in chapter 45, verse 2, we read that not only his own household servants that had been released from his presence heard his crying, but also “the household of Pharaoh heard of it”.  We don’t know the distance between the two structures but we know news of something uncommon travels very quickly.  I don’t assume those in Pharaoh’s house actually heard the wailing, but they soon heard ‘about’ it.  There is no way that such a dramatic event and ultimate change in our own lives can be kept a secret.

Joseph had done very well for himself all these years.  He had taken care of his desires for power and the wealth he had dreamed about as a young man.  Yet, this occurrence demonstrates the fact that he still had needs.  Above all, there was his craving for the love and trust of his own family.  That is something basic to all of us.  If truth be known and accepted, it is a basic essential to life.  How are we doing in that category?  Do we realize how crucial that is or are we satisfied in keeping our distance from estranged family members?  If the latter, I pray that we, like Joseph, will allow God to work circumstances in a way that ends that defensive satisfaction.  I pray we will have our pent up emotions cause us to lose our control in a way that heals and binds us to the love and trust of those we are meant to love unconditionally.

Sometimes though, as in Joseph’s case, our needs for such essentials to life are not evident to us.  We, like Joseph, have the tendency to become self-centered and independent, focusing on those things that are before us and over which we have more or total control.  The busyness of being involved with those things clouds the matter of our broken relationships and shifts it into the background of our mind.  It was not until Joseph’s brothers appeared, that he was reminded of his loneliness and sadness as a result of what had transpired years ago.  Can you identify with that?  Do you know anybody like that?  I do.  I hope we never lose the ability to allow God’s Holy Spirit to change us and make us lose our own control of ourselves so He can mold us in accordance with his wonderful plans for us.

Thanks for dropping by.  Sign up to receive free updates.  We bring you relevant information from all sorts of sources.  Subscribe for free to this blog or follow us by clicking on the appropriate link in the right side bar.  And please share this blog with your friends.   Ken Godevenos, Church and Management Consultant, Accord Consulting.

 

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Two Poems From the Heart . . . For A Change of Pace from Epistoli

Recently, I received two very short poems from my mother-in-law, with this note . . .

"Ken here are a couple of poems I came across on Monday when . . .  organizing my closet.  I thought they might be of interest to you."

I read them carefully several times and decided to share them with you because sometimes we just need to stop and think a little about our human friends as well as our spiritual Friend, God.  Take a look and pay attention to the words -- they just may help point you towards a better relationship with another person and/or with God!

To A Friend  by Doreen Scott, Thornhill, Ontario

The memory of your visit is still fresh and warm and clear.

We met, then  parted, richer with more love, more hope, more cheer.

For soul met soul for an instant.  For an instant time stood still.

And a friend was made as eternal love spoke from heart to heart to fulfill.


God’s  Love by Doreen Scott, Thornhill, Ontario

His love is strong, it cannot be defiled

No matter how it’s spurned, cast off, reviled.

It overcomes all hate and greed and pain

And only waits our confidence to gain.

His love is stern and cannot be denied

When He commands we dare not show our pride

Or run away or even try to hide

But in submission find our needs supplied.

-- I am sure that should you wish to publish either of these elsewhere, feel free to do it through this blog or write to us and I'll get you in touch with the author.

Thanks for dropping by.  Sign up to receive free updates.  We bring you relevant information from all sorts of sources.  Subscribe for free to this blog or follow us by clicking on the appropriate link in the right side bar.  And please share this blog with your friends.   Ken Godevenos, Church and Management Consultant, Accord Consulting.

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.

The Difference Between "WWJD" and "JHCIPYTITM".

Many of you are familiar with the phrase or question, "What Would Jesus Do?" or 'WWJD'.  It certainly was popular in the mid-nineties and it started showing up on wristbands and shirts that people wore.  You still see a number of them around today.  At face value, it is indeed a very good question.  The intention of the phrase, question, and the artifacts on which it was inscribed was to remind us all to try and live our lives as much as possible the way we believe Jesus may have lived it, or in its widest application, to live it in such a way as Jesus would want us to live it today.  Very honorable intentions indeed.  I too thought it 'neat'.  However, I believe we need to be careful of some of its implications as well as some of its limitations.

The whole idea it is believed came from a book entitled In His Steps and written by Charles Sheldon late in the 19th century.  The plot, at its simplest, was about a number of characters who agreed that for one year they would not make any decisions in their lives without asking the question, "What Would Jesus Do?"  As a teenager it was indeed one of my favorite books.  There are some who have rejected the WWJD trend as a 'fad' simply because they found error in much of the author's theology, seeing him as a 'liberal' and that may be.  For me at least however, it is not a sound policy to reject something of value because you disagree with the proponent on other issues.  To do so would be akin to rejecting a weatherman's warning of the likelihood of showers being 100% simply because he drinks and smokes and you don't.  It may be acceptable, however, to consider such arguments if indeed, as Ryan Habbena has suggested in his blog, "The 'W.W.J.D.?' Phenomenon -- Evangelism or Liberal Ethical System", the phrase has 'liberal' undertones.

Habbena points out, and I agree with him, that "there is a fundamental difference between Jesus of Nazareth and the rest of humanity.  Jesus of Nazareth is God-incarnate. Every other human being that ever existed (and will ever exist) does not fall into this ontological category. Therefore, Jesus Christ is the unique One."

Given this distinction, Habbena points out that there are things we cannot do that Jesus did.  One example is to "accept worship" as Jesus did in Matthew 14:33, 28:9, 28:17, and John 9:38, and as he will in Revelation 5:14.  We are to be like Peter who when Cornelius went to worship him, Peter raised him up, saying, "Stand up; I too am just a man." (Acts 10:25-26).  So, yes, we agree that there are situations where we are not to do what Jesus did.  And perhaps another such occasion may be how Jesus judged the heart of man and clearly we are not to do that.  But again, are those distinctions and others like them, sufficient to totally disregard the idea of asking ourselves 'W.W.J.D.?'

But really, is asking the question "W.W.J.D.?" sufficient?  Assume we realize there are circumstances in which we cannot and should not act like Christ.  And assume we understand that wearing such shirts or bracelets is not a form of 'evangelism' as Christ taught it (unfortunately, some did see it as evangelism rather than as a reminder to Christians of "how then shall we live?").  Even then, I believe asking "W.W.J.D.?" is not sufficient.  "W.W.J.D.?" falls short in several respects.  Let me explain.

First, and foremost, because we are in no way even close to being in the same category as Christ, we really have no idea what Jesus would have done in any particular circumstance that we find ourselves in.  Not that He could not have handled any situation we may find ourselves or that He would not understand any situation that we find ourselves in.  On the contrary, He would be able to understand and handle them better than us.  The problem is, that because of Who Jesus Is (God Himself), we cannot possibly have any accurate clue as to what He would do in any given situation.  We may think we would, but we would not.  In fact, if we were honest with ourselves, we would admit that what Jesus did in various situations during His life on earth, totally took us by surprise.  Some examples may be how He dealt with Zacchaeus and Mary Magdalene, how He said, "Who are my mother and brothers?", or why He sent people to wash themselves seven times in a pool?   And not only that, there are instances in the New Testament where Jesus was did not even do the same thing twice when faced with similar opportunities.  The example here being the different ways Jesus handled those who came to Him on behalf of a loved one: In the healing of the nobleman's son (John 4:46-54) Jesus just sends him home, saying "Your son lives".  Yet in the healing of the centurion's servant (Luke 7:1-10) Jesus starts to go to the centurion's house.  And different still was how Jesus raised Jairus' daughter (Mark 5:21-43).  There is no way we can outguess Jesus in what He would do in any given situation.  And to think that we could, is perhaps at best, a lack of humility.

There is a second difficulty with 'W.W.J.D.?'  It reminds one of the kind of question the Scribes and Pharisees would ask, only they would enquire, "W.D.T.L.R.?" or "What Would The Law Require?"  And in fact, many of them who tried to trap Jesus in His own words and actions did just that.  For us today, to simply ask the question, "What Would Jesus Do?" is analogous to us studying our Scriptures and trying to identify clearly what the New Covenant would require of us.  Not bad, but would that indeed endear us to the heart of our Lord?  I think not.

So, what would.  What could take the inherent good intention of 'W.W.J.D.?' and make it more acceptable to the very heart of God?  I'd like to suggest that "JHCIPYTITM" would.

"Jesus, How Can I Please You Today In This Matter?"  Here's why I prefer this approach to the issue of "How then should we live?"

First and foremost, I believe this question has a better chance of being answered more accurately because it does not purport to identify what Jesus would do in any given situation since we cannot be positive as to what that may be.

Secondly, it is an attempt to ascertain what we, not Jesus, need to do in the situation with Jesus' help and in a way that would please our Lord.  It requires us to seek His help, His guidance, His direction.   And that includes His timing -- whether it be urgent or whether it be 'in due course'.  It is indeed a question and approach which also indicates our "obedience to God."  We're not just seeking to do the right thing, but we want to do the right thing in obedience to Him.

Thirdly, it recognizes that we are in a relationship with God, with His Son, and with the Holy Spirit.  That is why we want to live our lives in ways that would please God in all matters. That relationship recognizes that we can do nothing without the power of the Holy Spirit and Christ living within us and we living in Christ.  We, therefore, seek to follow Christ's example in, as Habbena puts it, "His unwavering obedience to the Father, for 'the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner He walked' (I John2:6)."

In conclusion, doing "what Jesus would (have us) do" is more than being aware of what He did or even what He says in His Word.  It is about knowing Him intimately.  It is about being totally dependent on Him.  It is about desiring Him above all others and all things.  It is about a growing love relationship.

Asking, "Jesus, How Can I Please You Today In This Matter?" is one way we can show the world that our faith is not just another religion, but a dynamic living relationship with the Living Triune God.

 

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Judah Puts His Own Integrity and Relationship With His Father On The Line - Genesis 43:8-10

And Judah said to his father Israel, “Send the lad with me, and we will arise and go, that we may live and not die, we as well as you and our little ones.  I myself will be surety for him; you may hold me responsible for him.  If I do not bring him back to you and set him before you, then let me bear the blame before you forever.  For if we had not delayed, surely by now we could have returned twice.”

Jacob has said “no, Benjamin cannot go with you to Egypt”.  He has blamed his sons for putting him in a difficult situation.  Now Judah steps up to the plate recognizing the necessity of another trip to Egypt to get grain, if the extended family of Jacob is to survive.

He goes to his father and effectively says, “Trust your son with me.  Let him come with us.  We must get to Egypt for if you don’t let us, we will all die.  You will die, father.  Your grandchildren will die, too.”  As a father and a grandfather, I am not sure that I could deal with that.  The decision before Jacob reminds me of the old movie, Sophie’s Choice, starring Meryl Streep, where she needed to choose which child of hers would be killed by the Nazis in order to save the other.  God forbid that any of us should ever be in that kind of position.  But it gives us a little glimmer into how Jacob may have felt.

Even with those arguments, Jacob does not seem to budge in his position.  It is then that Judah plays his strongest card.  He tells his father his relationship with him will be the surety Jacob will have.  If Judah does not bring Benjamin back, he will give up all rights to his relationship with his father and he will bear the blame the rest of his life.  We have to understand child-parent, and especially father-son relationships of the day and culture.  First there was great respect for a parent by a child.  Second, albeit not always evident, there was great pride of a son by his father.  (This arrangement continues today in many Middle Eastern and Eastern European countries.  My own father never told me how proud he was of me, but he kept telling his friends who told me.  Not always easy to swallow that way, but once I realized his love for me; I was able to accept it.)  The idea of Judah being prepared to give up this relationship, and probably rights to any inheritance, was a significant offer.  Then add to that the sincerity of being willing to live the rest of his life as the one being blamed for the death of Benjamin should he not bring him back, and you had an offer no father could refuse.

Judah, then drives the logic of what he was asking for forward with one last argument, that of the simplicity of the task before them.  He says to Jacob, “look we could have gone and come back twice by now if we went when we needed to.”  The ball was clearly in Jacob’s court.  Would he hold on to it or would he entrust it to the rest of his team?

What does it take to convince you to let go of an idea or a person or a thing that has been dear to you?  We often tell our young people who have fallen in love with someone who wants to be moving on to another romance, “if you love them, let them go; if they never come back, it was never meant to be”.  The expression does not apply in this case as it was meant to – between two people.  Benjamin was not the one here who wanted to be set free to go to Egypt.  But the saying has some relevance if we escalate it to a meaning between man and God.  If God wants us to let go of something or someone dear in our lives, are we prepared to do so?  Are we prepared to find out what God has in store for us if we obey Him?  That is the question for us here from this passage.  Some of us need to apply it to our children, our ministries, and our belongings.  Let us be so close to God that doing so would become much easier and His blessings, so much more revealed.

 

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The Brothers’ Deceitful ‘Proposal’ -- Genesis 34:14-17

And they said to them, “We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. Only on this condition will we consent to you: if you will become like us, in that every male of you be circumcised, then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters for ourselves, and we will live with you and become one people. But if you will not listen to us to be circumcised, then we will take our daughter and go.”

Dinah’s brothers begin their response to Shechem and his father Hamor by telling them they cannot give her to them as a bride, not because the Shechemites do not believe in the almighty God, but because their males are uncircumcised. To do so, they said, would be a disgrace. The emphasis, all potential scheming aside, is on the physical rather than the spiritual differences. If Hamor and his people could be physically altered to be like Jacob’s males, then all the disgrace would somehow miraculously disappear.

I am aware of the importance of circumcision as God instituted it in Genesis 17 as part of the covenant He established with Abraham (verses 10-14). But in all those instances, the requirement, as far as the Israelites knew at the time of the verses we are studying today, was applied to Abraham’s household and descendents. The covenant requirement covered “every male among you” and “every servant who is brought into the household” or “born in the household”. Servants were adopted and fully owned by Abraham or his descendants and thus were part of that adopting household, no longer having a household of their own. The requirement had nothing to do with those outside of these households of Abraham and his descendants. Jacob’s sons were pursuing something that was part of the covenant between them and God alone and made no sense independently of that everlasting promise God had made to them.

For decades, almost all North American missionaries took a much similar approach in their work with Aboriginal Canadians and Native Americans. They believed that if they could change the natives’ language, dress, and culture, they would then become Christians. Our text here in Genesis uses the phrase, “if you will become like us”. That is exactly what missionaries set out to do all over the world – make converts of people to Christianity by changing their own “language, dress, and culture”. In fact, as we realized almost two centuries later, nothing was further from the truth. Language, dress, and cultural customs do not constitute one’s Christianity. God Himself is not interested in turning all His sons and daughters into “look-alikes”. In fact, God is a lover of uniqueness and diversity when it comes to His children. Even today, we sometimes miss what is really important in Christian fellowship and relationships within the body, because we focus on the non-spiritual differences in aspects of language, dress, culture, or even some practices that are beyond what is central to being a Christian.

So Jacob’s sons offer them a proposal. If all of their males would be circumcised, and “become like us” then everything will be okay and the Israelites would gladly cohabit with them. They would give them their daughters and take Hamor’s daughters in marriage, and they would become one people, living together. But if not, there would be no arrangement to inter-marry, trade, and cohabitate in the same communities. Shechem would be without Dinah and Jacob’s family would move on. The stakes were certainly high for all involved.

Now those of you who have read ahead in the text are aware of the outcome of this story. It was never meant for the proposal to be completed as those offering it spoke “with deceit”. We’ll see that soon enough. At this point we need to stop and reflect on two perspectives of our very own relationships with other individuals or groups. And here, I refer not to those relationships where we are ministering to others, or witnessing to them, or loving and caring about them because that is what we do as Christians, but rather those relationships that are so integral to our life – be it in business, recreation, or marriage.

The first perspective comes into play as we initiate and pursue relationships. Do we look for people that look, dress, talk, and do things that we do or are we more interested in where they stand spiritually – either their present relationship with Christ or their potential one?

The second perspective comes into play as others initiate and pursue relationships and friendships with us. Do they qualify to be our friends based on what they’re willing to do or say to please us, or are we more interested in their spiritual relationship with God and thus their membership in the body?

I hope that in both these situations, we value their spiritual states, actual or future, more than their externally based behaviors or evidence of being like us.

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