Never Underestimate What Goes On Behind Closed Doors At Your Neighbor’s Place

The Painting and the Piano: An Improbable Story of Survival and Love

Authors: John Lipscomb and Adrienne Lugo

Publisher:Health Communications Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL., 2017

I’m writing this review on Father’s Day weekend. I suppose that is having an impact on my thoughts. With many wonderful memories of this special day with my own father and now with my children, I can’t help but think that this is not the way so many think of their father, or their mother for that matter. I can’t help but be amazed at just how dysfunctional many families are today. This is a real story of just two of them.  My guess, based on what I read these days, is that there are millions more out there just like them.

This book is gut-wrenching from start to finish. But it opens your eyes wide.

The two authors alternate writing chapters – each telling their own story until the very end, when they’ve joined forces in more ways than one.

First, we meet Adrienne, a happy young lady living with her very loving foster parents. She couldn’t be happier.  Then we meet John growing up in an upper-class home with all its benefits. But it isn’t long before we discover a major problem in each.

In Adrienne’s case, disaster strikes when her birth-parents decide it’s time to reconnect with their daughter. In John’s case, we find out his otherwise beautiful mother has a deep blotch hidden behind her façade – she’s a hopeless alcoholic.

The rest of the story you’ll need to read for yourself, but I assure you that you will not be disappointed. In fact, you may very well be shocked.  But let me share with you some of my observations.

Both Lipscomb and Lugo write very well.  So much so, that reading this book on a flight home from Boston, I was pleased to have my flight delayed because it gave me time to let me finish it.

The book includes some wonderful quotes and truths.  One of my favorites was from a psychiatrist, “If I know the relationship a child has with his or her mother, then I can help that person.” Relationships with our mothers, and fathers, matter.  I’ve also confirmed from the book that it’s the parents that usually (but not always) screw up such relationships, partly because they were screwed up by their parents in their own relationships.

In John’s case, we learn that when a mother is not capable or willing to fill the role she should be filling, that role is often filled by some other, much more loving individual. And thank God for that.

In this book, we observe at close hand, both the failures of our child protection agencies and their limited powers to do what is right. We also watch a lame family court judicial system follow the letter of the law when by doing so, they condemn innocent children to a life of misery.

We see the effects that both alcohol and drug abuse can have on children’s lives – even from within the womb. We learn that what these children deal with constantly in their mind’s images, as a result of their parents’ conditions, is something they seldom wish to talk about even when the events are from decades past. We understand why it is that our children’s friends often wish to spend as much time at our place, avoiding theirs like a plague. The value of wise and loving parents of one’s friends to make a positive impact on a life is brought to the forefront in this book.  I know that from personal experience and I also know it from the wonderful kids that were at our house so often after school spending time with my children and my wife – some of which we are still in contact with.

This is also a book of hope for those that have fallen into the vicious cycle of abuse, now risking the chance of being the abusers themselves. But make no mistake about it, getting off the cycle requires hard work and extreme pain. Another great quote from the book is – “I got the monkey off my back, but the circus is still in town.” (There is some disagreement as to who originated that idea.) Nevertheless, it fits well with the long process of being “clean” (either from alcohol or from drugs), only to have to find yourself in a place full of drinkers or users.

Adrienne and John both end up where their dysfunctional parents were – but with one difference. They both wanted to stop the spinning cycle and get off.  Adrienne committed herself to doing so because of the love she had for her children. John because of the respect he had for people outside his family that really loved him.

Finally, and perhaps a little tongue in cheek – it’s worth buying the book just to find out what the title is all about.

I strongly recommend the book for any parent, any abuser, anyone being abused, any counsellor, pastor, or just anyone who has no idea whatsoever is going at their neighbor’s place.

Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, June 16, 2018, www.accordconsulting.com

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Remember the 2004-12 TV Series Called “House”? Well, here we go again – only reality makes room for miracles

Miracles We Have Seen:

America’s Leading Physicians Share Stories They Can’t Forget

Editor: Harley A. Rotbart, MD

Published by: Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, Florida, 2016

                                          

I could not help but think of the TV show starring Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House as I read this book. But this time, these real doctors share stories of miraculous events that can’t be explained by medical science.  And they admit it. Some of them even attribute the outcomes to faith and God – often when nothing else can be credited with the interventions.

Seventy-five different medical professionals share their unforgettable stories. The editor almost always provides the reader the information and sources needed to follow up on these real cases. This is not only helpful but makes each story (most within our lifetime) even more real for the fact-checking, research-hungry, web-browsing enthusiast.

There is a big difference, as the book’s contributors point out, between declining proven medical treatments that are available and beneficial, choosing instead to wait for a miracle, and allowing doctors to do all they can to help save a loved one. The former approach often ends up in disappointment, while the latter allows room for miracles to occur when the science alone cannot.  That’s a major lesson we can draw from this book.

A number of stories hinge on the coincidences of location, timing, and/or the availability of the expertise. To the purpose of faith, the probability of such occurring together in any given case is too much to leave to chance, but that’s a decision each reader will have to make for themselves. Based on how these doctors write about the ‘miracle’ they share, I often wonder how many of them are ‘hidden believers’ in the Creator, but just won’t or can’t say it openly here. In this book, we seem to be getting the message, both doctors and family members, “Do your job and God (or miracles) will take care of the rest.” These doctors have learned that “beyond the limits of (their) medical knowledge and skill, there is also always the power of hope.”

One story that sticks in my mind is that told by Debra Gussman, MD, entitled “An Impossible Pregnancy”. That one alone will challenge your ‘unbeliefs’.

Miracles We Have Seen is also invaluable for teaching the non-medical reader so much about medicine and how our bodies work. What makes it particularly good in this way is that the editor(s) have made sure that the stories these professionals share are explained in ways that the average man and woman can understand.  I learned a lot. Here are but a few examples:

·      In one story entitled, It’s Alive! By Robert J. Buys, MD, we learn about an “embolus” (the term for any kind of substance that shouldn’t be there traveling through the bloodstream) and how doctors attempt to deal with one that is in the eye. Fascinating insight (no pun intended).

·      White blood cells being a sign of inflammation, the body’s response to infection and other foreign substances.

·      What doctors mean by the term “failure to thrive” when referring to children, that is, a condition in which growth and body weight are far below normal.

·      Transplanted hearts (or any organ for that matter) come with great challenges – nothing is better than the organs we were born with if we can keep them working well.

·      An ‘obtunded’ patient is one who is losing consciousness or difficult to arose.

·      As a general rule, “people who fall three stories. . . have about a fifty-fifty chance of survival.”

·      And many more things and terms and practices and discouragements. For example, the realization by doctors working in Africa that healing cannot be just “medical”, it is often economic, as one patient stares them in the eye and says, “Cure my poverty, and you will cure me.”

The stories in this book are divided into major chapters entitled: Spectacular Serendipity; Impossible Cures; Breathtaking Resuscitations (my favorite); Extraordinary Awakenings (my second favorite); Unimaginable Disasters; Mysterious Presence; Global Miracles (dealing with epidemics); Miracles In Their Own Time (a modern historical perspective); Paying It Forward; Difficult Decisions (my third favorite); Silver Linings; and Back To The Beginning (transforming doctors into professionals – a great piece of writing).

We learn how doctors, pediatricians in particular, have a hard time as they often project their own children onto their patients, sometimes “identifying so strongly that it’s difficult to stay objective”. Then there are the times when doctors feel, “Yes, we have saved a life, but to what end?” That’s the often haunting question when one knows the patient will live but not as one would have preferred.

And if that’s not enough, in the Epilogue we are told that 100% of the author proceeds are divided among 75 different charities designated by the contributors and listed in that section.

I had occasion to be in the hospital right after I read this book. It greatly enhanced my appreciation of the wonderful doctor that took care of me.  Very highly recommended by anyone who is a doctor or ever needs to see one.

·      Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, November 13, 2016. www.accordconsulting.com

 Get the book here: http://astore.amazon.com/accorconsu-20

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Saving People & Leaving the Saving of Souls to God

Living Hope: Even in the Darkness of Despair

A David Kiern Film, 2014, narrated by Joel Smallbone, and starring real people as themselves.

This movie, at its simplest, appears to be about ‘missions’. More correctly it’s about, in the words of Mother (now Saint) Teresa, Christians going to the poor of South Africa to “love Jesus”. And she implies, when you see the hungry, the naked, the sick, you are seeing Jesus in disguise. So love --  them.

The setting is the Capetown area, including Oceanview where one in three women and one in four men test positive for HIV, the average life expectancy is under 50, and the infection rate is 44%. This is a story of men and women, who with these statistics in their heads were compelled to take their families from the comforts of home to the social battlefield thousands of miles away.

I’ll let you discover the players for yourself, but suffice it to say, that each one had to surrender to God’s will ‘one day at a time’ not knowing what God wanted them to do tomorrow. We share in their agonizing and from that come some memorable thoughts.  When Joey Lankford was concerned about what his wife would think about taking the family to Capetown, his father comments, “If God is calling you to the mission field, you won’t need to sell the idea to your wife.” How true that is and how different from those men (in particular) who wrongly drag their wives and families there only to meet defeat and discouragement. Courtney Lankford needed no selling. She was just waiting for Joey to catch up to her.  Later in the movie, in reference to how her marriage with Joey was strengthened by their ministry in S.A., we hear Courtney observing that “When you take two people and put them through a trial, they will cling together for dear life.”  Joey on the other hand, who was always worried about his wife’s happiness and his responsibility for it, had to hear and accept these words from God: “Her happiness is not found in you anymore; it’s found in Me; I’ll provide.”

The film addresses the age-old dispute about the social gospel (Christian faith practiced as a call to social reform) vs. the salvation gospel (Christian faith practiced in pursuit of helping people make personal conversions). John Thomas clearly answers the question when he says, “I thought Jesus wanted me to save souls; I discovered He wanted me to save people.”

Thomas is the founder of http://www.livinghope.co.za and the rest of the film showcases the four areas of ministry Living Hope focuses on with some gut-wrenching true-life stories that will amaze you.  There is Living Care (focusing on healthcare); Living Grace (focusing on the homeless and those dealing with addiction); Living Right (HIV/AIDS education and prevention); and Living Way (Economic Empowerment).

In the Living Care section we experience the story of a lady dying of AIDS who fought Christianity for a long time until one of the team finally got through to her. She held on and eventually wanted to get baptized but moving her anywhere was out of the question. What happens next, just six days before she dies, will, I believe, impact each viewer immensely and unforgettably.

My favorite part of the movie is that of Dana Perino, currently an American political commentator and author, and the 27^th White House Press Secretary, serving under President George W. Bush. She was there when the President selected Living Hope as one of two faith-based organizations eligible for grants under a “stop AIDS in Africa” program he implemented. Dana tells the story and shares her feelings when she and her husband went to serve with Living Hope after her W.H. stint. Her presence, at least for those of us who watch her regularly on television, helps us ‘click’ with the reality of Living Hope in today’s world. She asks, “If you have the means to help people (the pill for AIDS), don’t you have a moral obligation to give it to them?” And that’s exactly what Bush did through so many organizations. When the President met John Thomas, he remarked, “I’ve always wanted to meet the pastor of the one local church that the U.S. government funds.”

Throughout the movie one could feel the dependence on prayer shared by the team and those they were working with. From the seed project in Living Way to the provision of funds for a major surgery of a worker’s wife – another moving story in itself, prayer made the difference.  And then there’s a fourteen-year-old mother with AIDS who named her baby (born with advanced stage of AIDS) “no hope”.  Can you imagine being at such a point in life, that this what you do? Living Hope staff saw this as just an amazing opportunity to minister to this young lady in a way that enabled her, months later to remark, “You people showed me Jesus.” And then asked to be taken down to the registry office to officially change her child’s name to “The Lord Is My Hope”.

Many churches would do well to show this movie one Sunday morning instead of their regular program, warning people that it won’t be a 30-minute sermon that day.

The players have one final piece of advice for us – if you’re going to do this kind of thing, you need to do it properly. You start by spending a lot of time with God.

For most of us, I recommend starting with seeing this movie. If after seeing it, you still feel like pitying those poor missionaries, you’ve missed the point. Being a missionary in this kind of setting, is rather something to be envied – for it is there, one gets to really see God at work.

--  By Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, September 11, 2016. www.accordconsulting.com

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More Heart and Subplots Works Well After a Long Day

When Calls the Heart: It Begins With Heart

Starring Daniel Lissing, Erin Krakow, Jack Wagner, and Lori Loughlin;

Directed by Michael Landon Jr.; 2015

This is a movie that requires two things: First, the more you have seen of the episodes prior to this one, the better off you’ll be.  Second, be ready to spend more time watching the next episode.

This series first shown on the Hallmark Channel obviously keeps on delighting thousands and this episode was no exception. I watched this one down south in the heat of the night and found it most refreshing.  Coal Valley (now renamed Hope Valley after the mine closed) is on the verge of getting national exposure on New Year’s Eve as a great frontier family town. And it takes the whole town’s cooperation to pull it off.

But while that main plot progresses, we get ample opportunity to look in on several other subplots – both romantic and not-so-much.  This results in many surprises as well as moments of tenderness between human beings. And in the process, lessons are communicated to the audience.

One father who recently lost his wife is heard saying, “We work for a living” when the lead character Elizabeth Thatcher (the town’s teacher played so well by Erin Krakow) speaks to him about his daughter doing art which he was opposed to.  Her response, “Being creative is part of work for children.”

At another point, the owner of the lumber mill makes his new year’s resolution to be able to say ‘no’ for once to his very bossy and self-centred female crush in the person of Rosemary LeVeaux (plaed by Pascale Hutton) with this beautiful comeback, “Sometimes life is more important than just appearances,” as he forces her to tell the truth to the reporter writing the special feature on the town.

Clearly the message is that a vibrant community is one where ‘family’ extends beyond the walls of a single home.  And as nice as that goal is, it needs to be pursued with the understanding that everyone has deep secrets of the past that may or may not come out in any given episode of the series, or for that matter, in real life.

Jack Thornton (played by Daniel Lissing), is the local Royal Canadian Mounted Police Constable overseeing Hope Valley with whom Miss Thatcher is in love.

Once again the script is rich with great lines and dialogue time and time again.  Clearly not an extremely big-budget production. What the movie lacks because of its many subplots is the fact that we meet so many characters but never get to know them.  They, understandably, cannot not be developed as deeply as we would like – at least not in a single episode.

The film and the entire series is based on the work of Janette Oke, a Canadian author still living in Alberta, Canada. Faith is a big part of her life and the Producer-Director Michael Landon, Jr. has honored that aspect of her writings. (In an earlier review I had stated he became famous in his role on the well-known series Bonanza – but that was his father, Michael Landon.  My apologies.)

Unfortunately, I did not record every instance of brilliant and very witty dialogue between the characters this time – I should have.  But suffice it to say that if you watch this film, you’ll be pleasantly entertained by them.

I’m looking forward to watching the next episode.  So, if you’re looking for some great family thought-provoking entertainment, join me and take a look at this entire series.

By Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, May 13, 2016. www.accordconsulting.com

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If you have been sexually abused, or know someone who has been . . . please listen to this.

Ladies, this short video speaks for itself. I challenge you to hear it, show it others, and as appropriate accept Christine's claims as your very own.

Christine Caine testimony - Beloved womens event - YouTube


[Are you looking for a speaker at your church, your club, school, or organization? Ken is available to preach, teach, challenge, and/or motivate. Please contact us.]

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Joseph Gets “Two Portions” Of Jacob’s Estate - Genesis 48:21-22

Then Israel said to Joseph, “Behold, I am about to die, but God will be with you, and bring you back to the land of your fathers.  And I give you one portion more than your brothers, which I took from the hand of the Amorite with my sword and my bow.”

Jacob (Israel) has just finished blessing his son Joseph’s two boys, Ephraim (the youngest) and Manasseh (the oldest), but has given the younger grandchild the traditional blessing of the ‘firstborn’ making him ‘pre-eminent’ by Jacob’s choice as revealed to him by God.  Now Jacob tells his son that he is about to die.

Many of us have heard those words from one or both of our parents.  They are not the words a loving son or daughter wants to hear from his or her father or mother.  At the same time, even loving children realize that a parent’s life must ultimately come to an end.  Blessed is the child that can be left a promise or a legacy that will carry him or her throughout life’s darkest moments.  That was true in my case and it is an experience I pray that my children, and my grandchildren, will have when it is time for their mother and father to die.

In Joseph’s case, Israel, upon feeling his imminent death, uttered the greatest encouragement that a believing father could ever give his child, “God will be with you.”  It was as if he was saying, “Even though your father who was your earthly strength will die, God will be with you, Joseph.  You are not left alone.  You are not left without protection, without guidance, or without a source of wisdom with which to live your life.”  I often think of orphans and how some of them make it through life.  Imagine the power of those words to an orphan, regardless of age, but especially a youngster –“God will be with you.”  If believed, and relied upon, they are, in one spiritual sense, all he or she needs.

And not only did Jacob promise that to Joseph, but he reassured his son that God had a specific plan for him – “God will bring you back to the land of your fathers.”  That was it.  That was Israel passing on to Joseph God’s “promise”.  Matthew Henry calls this promise of God that they would return to their own land and leave Egypt, a “sacred trust”.  And now, Joseph had it and he was to pass it on when he died.  What a wise father.  In his dying days, he points his beloved son, not only to all the resource that is necessary to live life successfully, but he gives him a purpose, a goal, for which to live.  And it is a lofty one.  What a world this would be if each parent could do that for each of his or her children.

By giving Joseph this promise that he would repeat often to his brethren and his children, Jacob was helping them, as Henry suggests, not too fall too much in love with Egypt and their way of life there, but neither to fear Egypt when things started to get tough for them, as ultimately, they would be delivered.  But not until they were kept in bondage first, something that Jacob was not divinely informed of, to our knowledge, in order to allow him to comment on it.  Instead, he could only assure them of what he knew -- their leaving Egypt.  In essence, he gave them, perhaps unknowingly, what every individual needs – hope of salvation.  We would do well to ask ourselves whether or not we have that ‘hope’ and whether or not we have been able to pass it on to our own children.

Jacob then tells Joseph that because he blessed his two sons as his own, he would get one extra portion of Israel’s estate to him than what he gave the rest of his brothers.  With this extra portion Joseph becomes the next patriarch of the family, following in the footsteps of Abraham, Isaac, and his own father, Jacob.  And after Joseph, it would be Ephraim and Manasseh.  We cannot say or write enough about the responsibility that accompanies such a position.  God has great expectations from those that occupy that seat among his people.  That was true in Joseph’s days and it is true today where God uses many of His children to ensure His Name continues to be proclaimed in the world.   But the ones that hold such office must not be self-appointed.  God alone can assign the title and He has ways of doing so.  It is our job to discern today upon whom He has bestowed such responsibility and to make sure we are not following false prophets who claim it for themselves.

Jacob also makes a point of telling Joseph that the extra land he is giving him was taken by Israel himself from the Amorites.  We will need to wait to discover the full history of this land, in future books of Scripture, particularly the book of Joshua.  Suffice it to say here that at some point in the past, Jacob had to take back these lands that were properly his (by purchase) and he had to do it by force.  Henry suggests he recovered “his right by violence when he could not otherwise recover it.”  Whether that was a God-inspired thing to do or not, I cannot say.  However, later on we learn that these very lands were given to Ephraim, and it was there Joseph’s bones were buried.

I cannot help but think of this when I think of modern-day Israel fighting for her land today, and having to do it by force to repel the force exerted on her by her enemies.  Whether what Jacob bragged about was right or wrong, it is difficult for us New Testament Christians to determine, but we do know that God used that reclaimed land.

The final thought that comes to mind in this section is that as Jacob was telling Joseph all these things, others must have been present.  If not, Joseph, given the reputation of his youth as a ‘dreamer’ even though he had now become great and mighty, might still have had a difficult time of convincing his brethren of Jacob’s stated desire for Ephraim and Manasseh, or even the promised return of all of them to Canaan.

[Are you looking for a speaker at your church, your club, school, or organization? Ken is available to preach, teach, challenge, and/or motivate. Please contact us.]

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Why I Didn't Get on the "Poor Jack Layton" Bandwagon.

I was sorry to see Jack Layton die. I had nothing against the man personally. He certainly added color to Canadian politics. But he was in my opinion a "weasel of a politician" especially in front of the cameras.

For some reason, I could not get very rapt up in his death. There are many good (and better) men and women that die every day and we hardly hear about them. Perhaps Canada needed a new hero this month and the best they could do was to latch on to a leader that had passed on.

As I read his deathbed manifesto, the letter he supposedly wrote to so many, I could not get excited about it. He talked about hope but unfortunately without any reference to God there cannot be any real hope -- there can be a false security in some other form of human hope (which so far has got us nowhere), but not in real hope with potential to become reality.

And then today, two articles came out in the mass media expressing exactly how I felt. Here is the first one. You read it and decide for yourself. But remember, you at least heard it first right here from me -- the layman often gets it right before the professionals get to craft their words carefully and legally.

Jonathan Kay: Who has the guts to call out Layton’s cynical manifesto? Blatchford, of course | Full Comment | National Post

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In Taliban Country, there must be many without "sin" . . . Ghastly BBC video

As you watch this video, courtesy of the BBC report, be prepared to get angry. If you don't, then I don't know what will make you angry for a good cause. Especially at the end of the video, those of you who have a knowledge of some of the New Testament stories -- "let him who is without sin, cast the first stone" -- will see some resemblance to what happened here. Clearly, there were many present who felt they were without sin.

You should also be caused to think about why allies are in Afghanistan. Can we make a difference? Should we try? These are difficult questions.

Then there is the issue of religion and how the Taliban interpret it. Listen carefully for those remarks.

I don't know about you, but as I watch, I am more resolved than ever to share the true hope and love of Jesus Christ to individuals that God brings my way. You may just be one of them. Take a look at this rare footage, but be ware -- there are some very disturbing scenes.

BBC News - Afghan police pledge justice for Taliban stoning

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Steve Jobs on Hope, Death, Real Hope

Here's an interesting blog on Steve Jobs' philosophy of hope and an alternative. Worth the time to read it on your Apple or even a PC.

Steve Jobs and the false hope of our time | Joel J. Miller

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Baby hungry or can't sleep? Some Afghans Use Pure Opium

CNN under its "religion" breaking news banner gives us this story this morning. Sad, sad, sad. The reasons: poverty, lack of knowledge, no alternatives. But the future implications for these children (and the country) is horrifying.

The answer is clearly not opium. Not even religion. Perhaps a hand up to get out of poverty, learn the facts, and gain hope for living through a personal relationship with God. But then again that will be the last thing any NGO will ever recommend.

Afghan infants fed pure opium - CNN.com

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"World Freedom Decreases Again" - I Said This Recently, but Here's a Better Source

The annual report on world freedom is out again, and things, for the fifth year in a row, are heading in the wrong direction. Not sure who is taking note and who should be. At least Christians, I'm hoping, are paying attention. Take a look. Things do not bode well. Still, we have Hope.

Freedom Gone South - By Joshua E. Keating | Foreign Policy

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