Esau Wants To Leave Jacob Some of His Men -- Genesis 33:15

And Esau said, “Please let me leave with you some of the people who are with me.” But he said, “What need is there? Let me find favor in the sight of my lord.”

Agreeing to Jacob’s request of not be required to travel as quickly as Esau had planned but rather to travel at a pace Jacob’s children and flocks could handle, Esau now offers to help his brother by leaving some of his men to provide whatever assistance Jacob’s company may need in their travels to Seir. Clearly Esau had noticed that Jacob had some personal servants and people to help with the herds, but insufficient human resources to make the trip as smooth and easy as possible. Jacob certainly was not traveling in the style of Esau and the latter thought his brother would want to do just that, if he could afford it.

But Jacob, as usual, has other ideas. This time he responds by rhetorically asking, “What need is there?” Not wanting to upset Esau by not accepting his kind offer, Jacob adds, “Let me find favor in the sight of my lord.” That is, “don’t let my refusal of your generous offer take result in the absence of favor from you.”

One could easily title any commentary on this verse as The Art of Saying No, Thank You. What do we do when someone is offering us something we do not need or think it wise for us to have? Well, Jacob seems to have the right idea. First, he tries to share with the potential giver that there is no need of it. It is true that Jacob had enough assistance to complete his journey. Anyone else coming along would only be for the sake of luxury. “I have no need; God has provided enough,” is a phrase we do not hear, or perhaps say, too often these days. It is only when we come to compare our blessings with the needs of so many others that we might consider it. The secret for the Christian is to be content with what God has blessed him with; anything else is gravy or a bonus. In many times, we have a responsibility to direct the gravy or the bonus towards others with greater needs. If God wants us to have that bonus or gravy, He will see to it. Otherwise, we should live on the “I have enough” principle.

Having shared his feelings about having sufficient and there being no need for more, Jacob then turns his attention to the feelings of the giver, ensuring that he is not offended. The Bible does not record how Esau felt when he could be of no assistance to his brother. This is indeed a hard part of life – having an offer made in good will, rejected. Many of us have experienced that. The only bit of advice I can offer is that we all need to remember that while we have the right, and sometime the obligation, to offer whatever we can to others, they too have the right to refuse it for their own reasons. We need to respect that. Perhaps the only consolation, afterwards, is to know that we did our best to show our expression of love and caring, even though it was not accepted. Then, we need to actually show true love and caring by continuing to show ‘favor’ on the person. May God make it so in our lives.

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Esau Wants Jacob To Go On With Him -- Genesis 33:12-14

Then Esau said, “Let us take our journey and go, and I will go before you.” But he said to him, “My lord knows that the children are frail and that the flocks and herds which are nursing are a care to me. And if they are driven hard one day, all the flocks will die. Please let my lord pass on before his servant; and I will proceed at my leisure, according to the pace of the cattle that are before me and according to the pace of the children, until I come to my lord at Seir.”

For some reason, the story seems to take a most interesting turn at this point. Having been reconciled to Jacob and having accepted his gifts, Esau now suggests that they travel to Seir together, he going in front of Jacob’s family. That suggestion, one would think, would make a lot of sense now that the ‘family’ was reunited. Esau was offering himself to Jacob as a guide and companion, as well as providing any necessary help that may be needed along the way through his own men. Jacob, on the other hand, seems to have had other plans. Either he still had some fear in him as to any tricks that Esau might be up to or he truly had the best interests of his children and flocks in mind when he suggested what he did. A third possibility is that he himself never intended to go on to Seir with Esau. His responsibility had been met and his fear of being killed eliminated. He was satisfied with the reconciliation and now wanted to get on with his own life apart from his brother, Esau. Which of these possibilities is more likely to have been the case may be discovered later in the text.

So Jacob appeals to Esau’s understanding that the children in Jacob’s company were tired and perhaps somewhat ill from all the travel and that he was concerned about his animals that were nursing their young, fearing that if they were driven too hard, the young ones might die. Clearly, some of Jacob’s children were indeed still young and it was likely the time of the year when cattle had just had calves. So perhaps Jacob was just being a good husband, father, and shepherd. And there is much to be said for that. We need to be very conscious of the needs of those God has put under our care as we live our lives. They must become and remain our first priority, even at the expense of our wishes or preferences. I believe this is also implies that we cannot let our ministry involvement be such as to jeopardize the welfare and needs of those in our care. Many have done so and expected to be blessed.

Jacob asks Esau to comply with his request to go on ahead of Jacob and promises to meet him in Seir. He indicated that he and his company would follow at his leisure and in accordance with the pace that first the animals, and then his own children, could handle. One interesting thought here is the fact that Jacob did not ask Esau to slow his travels down to accommodate his own needs. We cannot have those expectations of others who are wishing to move on ahead whether it be in travel, in business, or in ministry. We must encourage them to move forward as God directs them and we will, at some point, as God directs us, catch up.

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Esau Accepts the Gifts -- Genesis 33:11

“Please take my gift which has been brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have plenty.” Thus he urged him and he took it.

Jacob in essence is telling Esau, “I have explained to you why you should take the gift that I brought for you. Now please do so. It was brought for you and to you it shall be given.” The giving of the gift was, as most gift giving is, more about the feelings of the giver than about the feelings of the receiver. Jacob was doing this because of what God had done for him. We give because God gave. We love because He loved.

And Jacob goes on to return to the theme of “having plenty” which Esau tried to use for not accepting the gifts. Was it Jacob’s pride coming back to over-ride Esau’s possible expression of his pride earlier? Perhaps it was or perhaps not. The point is clear though; most of us can give because we can also indeed say as Jacob did, “I have plenty”. God sees to it that when we give there is plenty left over for us. In fact in most cases, He has blessed us with way more than we need and is just waiting for us, sometimes almost a lifetime, to give it all away.

The last sentence of the verse also speaks to us about how a gift that would otherwise not be easily accepted is to be given. In Jacob’s case, “he urged” Esau to take it. Being involved with a mission that ministers to some of Canada’s Aboriginal people, I am often very conscious of how our ‘ministry’ is indeed perceived. Do we force it on others? Do we see ourselves as the ‘rescuers’ of a lost person or people? Do we see the individuals we serve as poor and we’re the wealthy willing to give them what we do not need? God forbid. To win the hearts of those we are trying to build relationships with, we must be careful that anything we give them is accompanied by both the right attitude and the rationale for giving. There are two ways for our mission to give to others. We need to give out of pure love and as expression of our thanks to God for what He has given us. Or we need to give seeing the potential of the receiver and what he/she could do to reach that potential with anything we may give them. That takes thought and consideration not just about what we give, but how, and more importantly, how it will be perceived. I have come to realize that God, the greatest Giver, will honor our good and honorable motives for giving if we take the time to thoughtfully consider these things.

Finally, because of Jacob’s determination, motives, and his willingness to explain his rationale for giving, God sees to it that Esau accepts the gifts. The reunion was held and the gifts were accepted. The reconciliation was sealed. May it be so with us as we consider individuals that we need to be reunited with. How well this reconciliation played out in the years ahead remains to be seen as we continue our study of these Bible characters.

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Esau Reacts to the Gifts -- Genesis 33:10

And Jacob said, “No, please, if now I have found favor in your sight, then take my present from my hand, for I see your face as one sees the face of God, and you have received me favorably.”

It appears that Esau has appreciated Jacob’s intentions in giving him the gifts, but as he has plenty, he suggests that Jacob keep his possessions. Jacob, on the other hand, being a strong-willed and determined fellow, does not settle for that and he proceeds to try and convince Esau to keep the gifts. He does so with a very interesting question. He basically asks Esau, “Have I found favor in your sight or have I not?” The implication is “if I have (found favor) then you need to take my presents for nothing else makes sense”.

I think that’s a fair statement. If we indeed have reconciled with someone, there are certain behaviors and rules of etiquette that must be followed as they make sense. We cannot say one thing with our tongue and do another with our hands and feet.

Jacob even tells Esau “I know you have received me favorably.” And the reason for that is “I see your face as one sees the face of God.” What was that all about? Is it possible that just as God had spoke to Laban when he was chasing Jacob and said, "Don't touch him, don't do him harm, don't speak to him good or evil" that God also interfered and touched Esau in the same manner. So much so that the anger and the bitterness of what had happened many years before all dissipated. It was now time for a much needed and very beautiful reunion of two brothers. God has a wonderful way of doing that sometimes, even if it is just the angry feeling, “Oh, what’s the use of still being angry!”

Something else we should be mindful of with respect to the culture that Jacob and Esau lived in. One only accepts gifts from a friend and never from an enemy. Jacob could be feeling that if Esau did not accept the gifts he still really seeing him as an enemy and the whole reconciliation process was a big façade.

Whatever the thinking behind that phrase, we can assume that Jacob was indeed satisfied with his brother’s favor. I remember meeting friends of my dad’s after he had died that had desperately want to see him before his passing but could not. One of them said, “Seeing you is like seeing your dad. You have made us so happy in coming.” In a way, they were paying me a compliment implying that “Seeing you was as if we had seen your dad and you know how much we wanted to see him.” Jacob felt the same way. What Esau did by showing his younger brother favor, was, in Jacob’s mind, an act of kindness and love that could only be expressed by God. Jacob always yearned for God to be reconciled to both himself and to others in their lives. Reconciliation with Esau felt that good.

Finally, it is also possible that by saying, “I see your face as one sees the face of God” Jacob was acknowledging God’s part in what had just happened. And that really it was God’s favor to Jacob through Esau that was being recognized. This was God’s answer to Jacob’s prayers. It is always very important for us to remember the true source of all the favors we receive from men. We need to see them as evidence of our acceptance to God. And at the same time to rejoice whenever the favors of men include peace and affection, especially if there had been enmity in the past.

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Esau Reacts to the Gifts -- Genesis 33:9

But Esau said, “I have plenty, my brother; let what you have be your own.”

Jacob tells Esau the truth as to the reason he was giving Esau all these presents and Esau replies in a typical eastern culture way. “No, no,” he says, “I have no need as I already have too much.”

There are several perspectives one can take on this reply. One is the idea of not wanting to be beholden to someone else for a kindness or deed done to one. While Jacob intended the gifts to be evidence that he would not be reliant on Esau for anything, Esau on the other hand may have felt that by receiving the gifts he would owe Jacob something in the future. This perspective is driven by the need to keep short accounts and not be weighed down by social obligations of any kind. You may know of people who live that way.

Another perspective one could take is the possibility that Esau wanted to drive home his superiority not only in age and status, but also in wealth. Esau didn’t want Jacob to feel that he could ever do anything for him, as Esau had no need, he had plenty. This perspective is driven by pride, especially with respect to members of one’s family. I have often seen this in my own distant family as members have come to North America from their villages in Europe and made a life for themselves here. Later, when they return home or more to the point, when they bring other relatives to North America for a visit, they do all in their power to exhibit a lifestyle that is way above their norm even here. It is all a matter of pride.

A third perspective is one that may be a characteristic of the culture, although I am not aware of any research to support it. That is, easterners may indeed feel a “lack of need” for certain things. Or better still, have a willingness to let others with a greater need have something that they themselves could have had. Still, I have recently read of a perfect example of this in David A. Livermore’s Serving with Eyes Wide Open about a young Indian who rode a bicycle to and from his church in Delhi. Some American friends visiting him were very concerned about the fact he did not have a car. When they realized how inexpensively they could purchase one for him, they wanted to do so. The last thing he wanted was a car. He had to find a tactful way of telling them that if they really wanted to invest in something, there were several members in his church who could use those same dollars to help set up a micro-enterprise development.

We have no clear indication as to which of the three perspectives above, or any other one for that matter, actually motivated Esau to give Jacob the reply he did regarding the gifts Jacob had brought for him. At one level, it reminds me of rich heads of state like presidents and royal figures exchanging gifts upon visiting each other’s country. What to get, what to get? Nine times out of ten, the recipient lacks absolutely nothing. I understand many of the Queen of England’s two hundred personal staff, get the Queen something for Christmas each year and she returns the favor. What does a butler get for his master or mistress? What does royalty get for her “lady in waiting” who has very little time of her own to enjoy anything? In fact, “What do we get our dad? He’s so difficult to buy for,” is an all too often heard refrain even in North America today.

So what indeed is the lesson from this verse? Although we have not yet studied the complete account of this transaction, which comes in the next two verses, for me, it is simply this: What is my reaction when someone gives me a gift? What perspective do I apply to any given situation? Do I stop long enough to consider who the giver is, why he/she may be giving me the gift, how dearly this may have cost them in money, effort, or personal sacrifice, and how can I best show the love of Jesus with respect to this gift I am being offered?

For any of you that have children or grandchildren, you know that the answers to the questions above may well be very different when one of them gives you a present from what they would be if a door-to-door salesperson knocks on your door and simply says, “I’d like you to have this set of knives as a gift from me.”

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Esau Enquires as to the Purpose of Jacob’s Gifts -- Genesis 33:8

And he said, “What do you mean by all this company which I have met?” And he said, "To find favor in the sight of my lord."

Jacob and Esau have reconciled, Jacob’s family has honored Esau, and now it is time for Esau to address the issue of all the gifts that Jacob had sent ahead to meet him. He simply asks Jacob, “What is the purpose of all this?” I do not for a moment believe that Esau did not know the answer to his question. Yet, he asked it. He wanted to hear the answer from Jacob’s own mouth and Jacob tells him the truth. “Esau, I wanted to find favor in your sight.”

Gifts are not always received or given as tokens of love or caring or admiration. Being Greek, I am familiar with the English expression that says, “Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.” It simply means, “Do not trust your enemies” and it originated with the story of the Trojan horse. This you will remember was the very large wooden gift that the Greeks gave to their enemies the Trojans as a peace offering. The problem was that inside of it were hidden hundreds of Greek warriors that would attack Troy by surprise once the horse was brought into the city and past the wall that surrounded it.

Being a husband, I am also familiar with the response of either my wife or my daughters upon giving my spouse an unexpected gift. That usually comes in the form of “Okay, now what do you want?” or “Dad, are you in the dog house again?” I am sure some of you readers can identify with that.

But here is the key thought from this verse for me. There are times when we, as givers of gifts, need to simply tell the truth. “This gift to you is because I want to receive favor in your sight.” There’s nothing wrong with saying that. If that is indeed the truth we do not need to hide it. “Darling, I got you these flowers on this ordinary day because I want to receive your favor. I need you and I love you.”

And although we will discuss it at greater length below, let me say that there are times when we, as receivers of gifts, need to simply accept that truth. In the passage that follows we will learn of Esau’s response to Jacob’s honesty.

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Jacob’s Family Gets Introduced to Esau -- Genesis 33:6-7

Then the maids came near with their children, and they bowed down. And Leah likewise came near with her children, and they bowed down; and afterward Joseph came near with Rachel, and they bowed down.

After Esau had learned about Jacob’s family, they each came forward and were introduced to him. Notice the specific order that was involved. It appears to be in the order of least importance to Jacob. First it was the two maids of Leah and Rachel along with the children they had borne to Jacob. Leah and her children followed that group. And the last group to be introduced was Rachel and the only child she had given Jacob to this point, Joseph. Each came near to Esau and they bowed down to him out of respect.

It is also interesting to note that the text says that “Joseph came near with Rachel” rather than “Rachel brought Joseph near”. Is it possible that Joseph, the youngest of the family at the time was indeed the most eager to see the reconciliation? Is it possible that he exhibited the desired attitude the most out of all of Jacob’s family? Did he best understand his father’s desire? God has an incredible way of showing us older ones what He expects of us through the lives and examples of our younger children. The other day I was sitting at a meal with a family where one member was definitely estranged to that family. One of the children, a six-year-old girl innocently said, “When will we ever see her? It’s been way too long.” How true. Perhaps Joseph’s eagerness to bow down to his uncle Esau was saying just that, “It’s been way too long.”

There is also another aspect to reconciliation that is not directly mentioned here but worth noting as we study this topic. Reconciliation is often a family matter just as feuds between two individuals often end up engulfing both the families involved. In my life, I have been personally aware of several family feuds where there is at least one individual that is a holdout. He or she does not want to have anything to do with reconciliation, even if he/she was not the injured party. This sometimes occurs because of that person’s love for the one that was injured. They just cannot understand why, or accept the fact that, the hurt individual has agreed to forgive and forget. As difficult as that may make it for the rest of the family, we all need to accept this individual’s decision and be careful not to further isolate him/her from the rest of the clan he/she does have a relationship with. With our patience and love, we may still win them over to the reconciliation.

Sometimes, we ourselves may be that individual who wants to hold back. If so, we need to examine our motivation and the implications of our decision on the parties being reconciled, on our own family, especially the model it presents to our children, and ultimately on ourselves. We need to ask God to help us change our attitude and accept the very thing that He desires for all mankind – to live in peace with each other, especially those in our own family.

Clearly, in the case of Jacob and Esau, all Jacob’s family members were at least willing to support him in his desire to be at peace with his brother.

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Esau Enquires of Jacob’s Family -- Genesis 33:5

And he lifted his eyes and saw the women and the children, and said, “Who are these with you?” So he said, “The children whom God has graciously given your servant.”

The reconciliation successful, life now, in one sense, begins anew for Esau and Jacob. As they complete their embrace, Esau looks up and behind Jacob and sees the women of Jacob’s company and all their children. He asks Jacob, “Who are these with you?”

Note that there is nothing in the question to indicate that he was not inquiring about both the women and the children. Yet Jacob’s response makes reference only to the ‘children’. Today we would find this most strange and certainly the women present may well ask, “Well, what about us, are you not going to tell him who we are?” The verse provides still one more glimpse into the culture of the day, a culture that is still very much evident in the Middle East and parts of Europe today. To the men, it is all about men. And after the men, well, it is all about the children, and in particular the male children. Did Jacob not love his wives or value their maids? Of course he did as we had discovered in earlier chapters. It is just the culture that made him think or act or speak differently.

What is the lesson for us from this verse? Simply this: we need to assess people’s words or actions in the light of their own culture, especially as we live in a multi-cultural society, before we react in an inappropriate matter or feel offended. This was something that my darling “Canadian-with-English-background” wife had to learn when she first met my “old-school-Greek” family. Those of you who remember the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” will well understand what I mean.

Secondly, we cannot make some assumptions about people’s beliefs or feelings simply by taking their actions or words at face value as if done or spoken in our own culture. While we would say that “Jacob thought or cared very little about his wives” as indicated by his response, we would be wrong. To be successful in these approaches, we need to study and understand the culture we are dealing with.

But there are at least two more aspects of interest to this verse. First, Jacob’s response leaves no doubt that his children are gifts of God. They are his only by God’s grace. Today is the beginning of a new year. Later today my wife, my children and grandchildren who live in the same city will be sharing our first ‘family meal’ of 2010 together. In our own Greek tradition, January 1st is the “name day” of people called Vasilis, Vasilios in Greek, translated Basil in English. As my father’s name was Basil, my middle name is Basil, and my son’s first name is Basil, this day becomes our special “Greek name day” and we celebrate by getting together. When we do, I know I will be thanking God for his wonderful gift of spouse, children, and grandchildren to me. And at the same time, I will be realizing that they are indeed His and only on loan to me for as long as He wishes. My job is to be the best guardian and keeper I can be of His beloved children, both the adults and the younger ones.

Second, Jacob’s response clearly indicates that he sees himself as a servant to Esau whom he had previously wronged. Sometimes, we need to remember our responsibility to serve others once a relationship has been restored. The operative word here is “sometimes” because, I believe, there will always be times when people should reconcile but agree that it is best they not be involved in each other’s life. A good example may in the case of a person who has badly abused you and may even be spending time in prison for his/her actions. Or perhaps a situation where two people have had an adulterous affair, one comes to his/her senses, ends it and the other one gets hurt. The two may well reconcile and forgive each other for the wrong they did to each other and others, but then it would be prudent to totally stop seeing each other. But in most other cases, reconciliation involves a commitment to work with the other person, often in servitude, so that we can practice what we have preached in reuniting with them. In this particular case not only did Jacob recognize his role as Esau’s servant, but Esau also made an effort to get acquainted with his younger brother’s life. Reconciliation often, but not always, involves second chances and new opportunities to be the kind of person each of the parties really want to be. God has a way of affording us that privilege.

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The Time of Reckoning Approaches -- Genesis 33:1-2

Then Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, Esau was coming, and four hundred men with him. So he divided the children among Leah and Rachel and the two maids. And he put the maids and their children in front, and Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last.

So Jacob, limping, is now with his family on the same side of the Jabbok river and he looks up and sees Esau with four hundred men with him. What is going through his head at this very moment? What difference would the “all-night wrestling match” he had with God make in what he did next? Would he be bold or fearful? Would he still try to strategize or be prepared to meet Esau head on? Take a close look at what he did do and you be the judge.

First he gives Leah all her children and makes sure they are together in one group. Then he gives Rachel all her children. He does the same thing with each of their maids. [You will remember that Jacob had at least two sons from each of his wives’ respective maids.] So all the children are with his or her respective mother while their father Jacob stands alone. He then does something that is totally understandable, but oh so hard. He lines the four groups in an order. At the very front he puts the two maids and his children by them. Then he places Leah and his children by her behind the first two groups. And finally, he places Rachel and his son Joseph by her as the last group. The implication is that if Esau and his men were to attack, the first to be slaughtered would be the maids and the children they bore him; followed by Leah and the children she bore him; and then lastly Rachel and her children. The hope being that Leah’s family had some chance of escaping and Rachel and Joseph had the greatest chance of all, being further back. Wow. This is totally understandable as we know, rightly or wrongly, Jacob did love Rachel the most and thus he would love her son the most. He would want them to have the most protection.

So far, the action he took would seem to indicate that he was still a strategist and a planner, perhaps not leaving everything to God in whom he fully trusted. But look what happens next. The next verses we’ll look at tell a much different story.

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Why Jewish People Don’t Eat the Sinew of the Hip -- Genesis 32:31-32

Now the sun rose upon him just as he crossed over Penuel, and he was limping on his thigh. Therefore, to this day the sons of Israel do not eat the sinew of the hip which is on the socket of the thigh, because he touched the socket of Jacob's thigh in the sinew of the hip.

The night of Jacob’s wrestling with God was over. He had gotten up before the sun rose and started to cross over the river Jabbok at Penuel. Scripture uses both Peniel and Penuel to depict the same place with a common meaning of ‘God’s face’. So Jacob was crossing from the north of the stream to the south side to join his family and entourage. The actual location is approximately forty miles from Jerusalem.

And from that day on, Jacob walked with a limp, favoring his thigh. That would be the lasting reminder to him of his battle with God and how God spared him. I cannot speak for everybody, but I know that many Christians have had a similar experience, myself included. We may not have wrestled with God physically as Jacob did, but we certainly have done battle with Him. On all accounts, we should no longer have been in existence, certainly not in the place and situation of service and blessing we are in today. But in the process, we have been left with an everlasting experience or memory, and in some situations, perhaps even a physical scare (depending on what God had allowed us to go through during our ‘battle’). That experience, memory, or condition, will be with us all our lives. And its main purpose is that we remember God’s grace extended to us in that fight.

As he heads back to his family’s camp, he could well be wondering, “what will Rachel and Leah, and the children, and everybody else say when they see me?” Yes, what would they say? More importantly, what would he tell them? What would he dare tell them? And would they believe him? There is no record at this point of the story as to what he thought, was asked, or replied. We can only imagine.

What would you be thinking if you had a night like that; a night where you fought, either physically or in a dream that might as well have been the real thing, with God? You had fought so hard that ultimately your body was changed to the point of being recognizably different.

I can only share a little of my personal experience. Many years ago I had such a battle in the middle of the night. A force (for I do not know what else to call it) at the foot of my bed, was holding my ankles down in such a way that my entire body could not move. I was paralyzed in my bed, unable to talk although I tried desperately, unable to flitch so I could not wake my wife up. I could see our whole bedroom around me. All I could do is know or recognize that the figure behind the grip was indeed an evil demon or worse still. Unable to make a sound, I was able to silently repeat the name of Jesus, asking Him to come to my help, and then informing the demon that he was been dismissed in the name of Jesus. It worked, but the experience left me shaking for several minutes afterward.

At this point my wife awoke and seeing me physically distraught, asked what had happened. I told her everything. She did not laugh at me or trivialize the event. She suggested we pray and then try to get back to sleep, both of which we did. But its memory will last my entire life.

Based solely on my experience, my guess is that Jacob, when asked ‘what happened to you’ by Rachel and possibly Leah (as all good wives would notice the difference in his walk and thus enquire of him as to what had happened), would indeed tell them the truth. What he said to the children and others beyond that I cannot begin to surmise. Nor do I know how anyone reacted, although again by my personal experience, I believe those close to Jacob would have taken him at this word.

What we do know for sure, however, is that the story somehow got out. It was eventually written down, and it was passed on from generation to generation, right to this day. But there’s more.

The verse says that “to this day” the sons of Israel do not eat the sinew of the hip that is on the socket of the thigh. Orthodox Jews today still do not eat that part of the animal. They are particularly concerned about the “sinew that shrank” and according to Bible commentator Robert Jamieson, “The sinew is carefully extracted; and where there are no persons skilled enough for that operation, they do not make use of the hind legs at all.”
I dug into this a little deeper from the Judaic point of view and came up with the following: In the Jewish scripture this verse is translated “therefore the members of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh-vein” (Breshit 32:33). Jewish tradition recognizes that this is in the story of Jacob but it considers it to be part and parcel of the Judaic laws that were handed down later on by Moses at Mount Sinai. This is one of their many mitzvahs (a Jewish religious duty or obligation). This particular duty or obligation belongs to the mitzvoth of kashrut, a set of duties that may or may not make a lot of sense but are required in order to help the Jewish believer tame his/her ego, or to help them set boundaries or limits in life. Each one has a particular message.
Striving to rebuild the Jewish people after the destruction of the Jerusalem Temple, this mitzvah is used to deliver a message of hope and faith against the powers that may oppose it. In centuries gone by, it was the Roman Empire that was considered to have descended from Esau. The Jewish people believe that the ‘man’ that fought Jacob that night was Esau’s guardian angel and by Jacob’s very survival, he defeated Esau’s guardian indicating that Israel would not perish, but outlast and overcome not only Rome, but also all its future enemies.
The only possible link in scripture to this kind of thinking is found in the last phrase of our text here and that is, “because he touched the socket of Jacob’s thigh in the sinew of the hip.” If indeed, the ‘man’ Jacob wrestled with was Esau’s guardian angel, we can see that the sons of Israel would not want to have anything to do with, let alone eat or absorb internally, anything that he may have touched. As interesting a possibility as that sounds, the rest of the text does not support the Jewish interpretation.
I also discovered that this mitzvah is the first to apply to both genders, and in all times and places. Most Jewish communities refrain from eating any part of the hindquarters, where the inner and outer sinews are located. In places where meat is rare, the sinews are removed and then the meat can be eaten.

As we read our Bibles, we would do well to be very familiar with what is recorded for us. We should also gain understanding of how its contents may relate to various cultures today, especially the Jewish culture. Finally we need to be aware of how such cultures translate or interpret the scriptures differently than we do in order to better understand them and to be better equipped in our discussions with them about our faith.

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Jacob Tries To Connect with Esau -- Genesis 32:3-5

Then Jacob sent messengers before him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. He also commanded them saying, “Thus you shall say to my lord Esau: ‘Thus says your servant Jacob, “I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed until now; and I have oxen and donkeys and flocks and male and female servants; and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find favor in your sight.”’”

As Jacob approaches Canaan, he decides to send messengers on ahead to contact his brother Esau who is now living in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. We first came across the name Seir in Genesis 14:6 where we read about the battle of first the nine kings, and then later another group of four kings. The text spoke of ‘Mount Seir’ as being the home of one of these, namely the kingdom of the Horites. The mountain was named after the patriarch of the Horites, Seir. And the word actually means “hairy or shaggy”. (You will remember that Esau was referred to as a hairy man and that is why Rebekah had to cover Jacob’s arms with animal pelts when he went to Isaac to be blessed in Esau’s place.) The Horites were the inhabitants of Edom before all of Esau’s descendants came on the scene and became known as the Edomites. Edom itself is south of the Dead Sea. The mountain range of which Mount Seir was a part extends southward from there as well.

We first heard of the word ‘Edom’ which means, “I will praise him” in Genesis 25:3. Esau was named that, probably by his brother Jacob, when Esau, being famished, asked for a “swallow of that red (stew)” that Jacob had made. Esau had indicated he would praise Jacob for giving him the stew. With that background, we now find Esau and his people residing near Seir in the land of Edom.

Some commentators state that Seir was not directly on route to Canaan, but off to the side of where Jacob otherwise would have traveled to get to his father Isaac’s place. Yet, he wanted to pay respect and try to be reconciled with his brother Esau. So Jacob gave instructions to his messengers to give his ‘lord’ Esau a very specific message. For the message was to be a direct quote from “your servant Jacob”. The Hebrew word used for ‘lord’ is ’adown and when it refers to man rather than God, it is simply implies or refers to a superintendent of a household, a master, or a king. Here Jacob was recognizing his brother’s leadership of his own household. The word used for ‘servant’ is ’ebed and is translated servant, slave, and subject. Jacob realizes that he will now be in a place where his brother is indeed lord, and he just a subject. His very long absence and the conditions under which he had left had brought this about. You will remember Esau wanted to kill Jacob twenty years earlier, so now Jacob has to humble himself before Esau.

It is also possible that by using the ‘lord and servant’ image here, Jacob is trying to give Esau the message that he personally will not demand the rights of one who had received the blessing that was rightfully Esau’s. There is also the possibility that Jacob wanted to reconnect with his brother and with his family. So what exactly does one have his servants say to his brother after all that has happened knowing full well that the success of his leaving Laban and returning to Canaan pivots around whether or not his brother Esau is prepared to welcome him back or still wants to kill him?

The basic message to Esau that Jacob’s servants were to pass on was this: All these years he had lived with Laban and had become very wealthy in possessions. He wanted Esau to know that in order that he would view him with favor rather than as a prodigal son returning empty-handed to his father’s home. He wanted to make sure that Esau would not see him as someone who had to be supported by him in order to live. He wanted to be acceptable to Esau.

In the last little while, I have reached out and tried to reconnect with some relatives that we have lost touch with and was received most pleasantly. Life is indeed too short to not do so. Furthermore, one cannot do the work of God well when he or she has not first obeyed the word of God in being reconciled with others.

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Esau’s Reaction to Jacob’s Leaving -- Genesis 28:6-9

Now Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Paddan-aram to take to himself a wife from there, and that when he blessed him he charged him, saying, "You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan," and that Jacob had obeyed his father and his mother and had gone to Paddan-aram. So Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan displeased his father Isaac; and Esau went to Ishmael, and married, besides the wives that he had, Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham’s son, the sister of Nebaioth.

This morning as my son-in-law was leaving with our eight-year-old granddaughter to hit some golf balls, our six-year-old granddaughter made him promise to do something special with her next. Anyone who has had more than one child knows that siblings keep a close watch on how each other is treated by their parents, or grandparents for that matter. The well-known comedy team, the Smothers Brother had, as one of their favorite lines “see, I told you ‘mom always liked you best’”. One child often feels less preferred than the other. This was the case with Esau as he saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob further and then sent him away to get a wife from within his mother’s family.

It was not so much that Isaac had a preferred a wife for Jacob from Rebekah’s family as much as it was that he did not want Jacob to get a wife from “the daughters of Canaan.” Esau had especially noted the negativism with which Isaac referred to the idea of marrying from the daughters of Canaan – the very thing that Esau had done. We may not always agree with what our children do, especially in regard to whom they choose as mates, but we must be careful as to how we communicate that. At the very least, we must always leave the door open for communication, conciliation, and complete restoration into the family.

Esau also noted how Jacob had obeyed his parents and had gone to Paddan-aram to do what had been asked of him. Of course, Jacob’s reasons for doing so were different, but nevertheless Esau saw it as obedience. Disobedient or rebellious children have always had a disdain for their siblings that appear to be “little do-gooders” in the eyes of their parents.

Yet, seeing that the women of Canaan displeased his father, he goes out, this time to Ishmael’s family, and takes his daughter Mahalath as yet another wife. Ishmael you will remember was Abraham’s son through Hagar the handmaid and Isaac’s half-nephew for lack of a better word. Mahalath was the sister of Nebaioth. In Genesis 25:13 we learned that Nebaioth was Ishmael’s eldest son. It appears that Jacob now wanted to impress his father Isaac by marrying a non-Canaanite woman and this time only one.

But did he make bad things worse? First of all he now marries someone who is a descendent of a bondwoman whom God had already decided was not to inherit the promise He made to Abraham as Isaac and his family were. Esau, whether knowingly or not we cannot say with total certainly, now connects with a family that God has rejected. Was it possible that since he was the only son left at home, he would now try desperately to get on his father’s good side, perhaps hoping that Isaac would even change his mind about the blessing he had given Jacob and even make a new decision about any inheritance that would remain? By what he did, Esau attempted to please his parents for how he had behaved in the past. But he failed to repent concerning his intention to kill Jacob. [It remains to be seen later as to whether he pursued that line of action.]

Sometimes we come across individuals who try to right a wrong they had committed, but clearly their actions prove insufficient as their hearts continued to maintain the original attitude or malice towards those they had wronged and there is never a full repentance or apology for what they had done. One supposes though that in their own eyes, since they have made some effort to reconcile the situation, they are indeed better than they were. Somehow, I believe that this is not what God expects of us when we are in the wrong and have hurt others. In Esau’s case, we have no evidence that he repented, changed his thoughts about Jacob, or demonstrated a devout or humble spirit that truly may have pleased Isaac, or God.

Here’s a final comment on this section. Some parents have one or more children that just do not make the right major decisions in life, for any given number of reasons. I know how hard it can be for that parent to watch their son or daughter experience the consequences of such decisions. Yet, I can also share with you that the only two true actions of benefit to them that you can take are to pray for them and to listen when they want to talk. If for any reason, you have failed to develop a relationship with them where your opinions really matter, then drop all other efforts you may expend on them and work just on that. Remain available and always open to being their parent and allowing them to be your child. If you need a model to help you, consider your relationship with our Heavenly Father.

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Pre-meditating Murder -- Genesis 27:41

So Esau bore a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing with which his father had blessed him; and Esau said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.”

There is no doubt Jacob twice supplanted Esau. We could assign responsibility to Esau himself for losing his birthright to Jacob, but clearly he was not to blame for the loss of his blessing as the firstborn. What he ended up with was indeed a raw deal in comparison. So, Esau held a grudge against his younger brother Jacob because of the nature of their individual blessings.

Here was a man who found himself most unhappy with what life offered him through the trickery or sin of others. Evil exists. It impacts people. And sometimes the evil undertaken by others impacts us. Your spouse is unfaithful and wants a divorce. You are an innocent bystander in a mall or walking down the street and get crippled for life in the crossfire of a gang shooting. Your loved one is killed because someone succumbed to too much alcohol and insisted on getting behind the wheel of a car. Your spouse or child or parent is maimed in a war our country was simply helping restore peace in. The list is endless. The consequences are basically all the same – you feel cheated. You are definitely sad. You may even be angry. But once you are over the shock and the reality of the ongoing impact on your life hits you, there is a moment in time when you have to make one of the most crucial decisions you will ever make. It is at this point you can become bitter, bear a grudge, and even plot to take revenge. In short, you succumb to the inner pressure of becoming evil yourself. Your alternative is to accept your lot in life, take the lemon you’ve been served and turn it into lemonade by adding all the sugar you can find within you. In short, you go on doing good and living your life as best you can with God’s help. And as part of that, you turn the matter of payback or revenge or bringing about justice to the evildoer into the hands of God. Esau clearly rejected this alternative and chose the former approach, preferring bitterness.

It would be helpful here to realize some of the causes that help contribute to one’s decision as to which approach is pursued. First, there is the aspect of one’s personality and whether or not they are prone to take matters into their own hands. If I am a fighter by nature, I will want to gain back what I believe is rightfully mine. If I am a peacekeeper, then I would be content to accept what the other person has done, perhaps even arguing they were wrong and didn’t know better, and then move on with my life somewhere else or somehow differently. Second, there is also the issue of how one views God’s role in one’s life. If I believe Him to be Who the Bible tells me He is and have a personal relationship with God, then I am more likely to accept what has happened as something that He is aware of, something He will take care of with respect to justice being done, and a situation wherein He will provide for me.

Finally, one of the most detrimental paths one can follow in life also applies very well to the case of how one deals with the impact of evil caused by others. And that is the path of comparison. Esau compared his blessing to that of Jacob’s. He found it difficult to see any of the benefits in it and focused solely on what his brother got and he didn’t. Life is certainly not fair at all times. Some are blessed more than others. Some will always have more than what we have. Comparison in such cases only makes us unhappy with what we possess, be it money, things, relationships, or talents. Comparison in itself may have its benefits. For years, I compared my ability to play backgammon to that of my dad’s. As I watched how he played, one of my goals was to raise my backgammon ability to be closer to his. Many successful athletes, actors, artists, speakers, writers and others in just about any other walk of life, have benefited from aspiring to be like someone else. There is nothing wrong with that. As Christians we are to aspire to be like the Apostle Paul or more importantly to be more and more Christ-like. But all that requires great commitment, discipline, and sacrifice on our part. However, in that approach there is to be no element of us getting more or becoming better to the detriment of the person we are comparing ourselves to. There are no quick fixes. When comparison leads to a quick fix as in the case of Esau and his plan, one has embarked on the wrong path.

And that’s where we find Esau as this passage ends. He plans to kill his brother because Jacob has cheated him. But out of respect to his aging father, he is prepared to wait until Isaac dies. He knew that was not too far in the distance. This is the first clear case of a planned, pre-meditated murder that we read about in Scripture. While Cain had killed Abel, the Bible records that it just happened while they were out in the field together. In this instant case, Esau consciously plans to murder his brother at some point in the future. One does wonder, however, what he may have done had his father been much younger and in good health.


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Esau Has Reason To Feel Cheated and To Despair -- Genesis 27:34-38

When Esau heard the words of his father, he cried out with an exceedingly great and bitter cry, and said to his father, "Bless me, even me also, O my father!" And he said, "Your brother came deceitfully and has taken away your blessing." Then he said, "Is he not rightly named Jacob, for he has supplanted me these two times? He took away my birthright, and behold, now he has taken away my blessing." And he said, "Have you not reserved a blessing for me?" But Isaac replied to Esau, "Behold, I have made him your master, and all his relatives I have given to him as servants; and with grain and new wine I have sustained him. Now as for you then, what can I do, my son?" Esau said to his father, "Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me, even me also, O my father." So Esau lifted his voice and wept.

Can you imagine what it may have felt like to be growing up in expectation of one day receiving an inheritance or perhaps more significantly, the eldest child’s blessing, and then to hear your aged father tell you that your younger sibling got it by mistake, and “they will be blessed.” It is no wonder that the scripture says Esau “cried out with an exceedingly great and bitter cry” and begged his father to bless him also.

Devastated Isaac answered Esau explaining how his younger brother Jacob came “deceitfully” and took away Esau’s blessing. The deceit was Jacob’s, the duping was Isaac’s, and the loss was Esau’s. Jacob had to live with the knowledge of what he did, Isaac had to sustain the disappointment of being tricked and letting his firstborn down, and Esau had to accept the loss, fight back the anger, and settle for what blessing remained possible.

Upon hearing what Jacob had done, he indicates his brother was indeed appropriately named Jacob, meaning ‘supplanter’, or one who takes somebody else’s place or position by force or intrigue. Jacob had now done that twice to Esau – the first time when he took advantage of Esau’s hunger and tricked him into selling him his birthright and now when he maneuvered the dishonest acquiring of the firstborn’s blessing. Esau, almost begging, asks Isaac if he had saved some kind of blessing for him. But his father’s response was not exactly what he wanted to hear.

It is important to note that the blessing of a father was, and still is for those that still observe it, many Christians among them, very powerful. In his response to Esau, Isaac indicates that by giving Jacob the specific firstborn’s blessing that he did, he “made him” Esau’s master. In fact, all of Jacob’s relatives (that includes Esau and his family) would become, through that blessing, Jacob’s servants. Furthermore, Isaac blessed Jacob with great riches in the form of large harvests and fine wine. Isaac felt there was nothing of a true blessing left for his true firstborn. He utters the words “What can I do, my son?” with great disappointment.

But Esau does not give up easily. “Surely, father, you have more than one blessing in you? So, bless me too, my father.” Unsure as to whether or not his father would do so, or even if he might, the hurt was so great, that as he said those words, Esau wailed and wept. How that must have hurt his father. And where exactly were Rebekah and Jacob during all this? Surely, Isaac’s tent was not that far away from where they spent their time. How could a mother and a brother do that? It appears even then greed and deceit were tools used against one’s family member as they are today. Yet God can still work with those dishonorable actions.

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Esau Marries Two Girls -- Genesis 26:34-35

And when Esau was forty years old he married Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite; and they made life miserable for Isaac and Rebekah.

Esau stayed single until he was forty years of age, the same age as his father Isaac. We can update our timeline as follows:

• 3311 Isaac, at age 40, marries Rebekah (Genesis 25:20)
• 3331 Isaac, at age 60, becomes father to Esau and Jacob (Genesis 25:26)
• 3346 Abraham died at age 175 (Genesis 25:7,8)
• 3371 Esau marries Judith and Basemath (Genesis 26:34)
• 3394 The death of Ishmael (based on his birth in 3257 and Genesis 25:17)

Both Judith and Basemath were Hittites who descended from Heth, one of Noah’s great-grandsons. (Noah-Ham-Canaan-Heth). They lived among the Israelites. Abraham had purchased the family burial-plot from them. There is no direct reference as to their worship habits and whether or not they believed in, and served, God, as Abraham and his direct ancestors did, although most likely they did not.

This is the only place in scripture where the name Judith is used. Its root word in the Hebrew however is used one other time later in scripture with reference to the transliteration of “sanctuary”. As a name, it means “Jewess” or “praised”. Interestingly, she was neither. The name Basemath is translated as “spice”. She indeed did add spice to Isaac’s family but perhaps not the kind they had hoped for. The actual name is also given to one more person in scripture many, many years later.

Was Esau foolish in marrying Canaanites? The evidence indicates he was. For starters, they were not part of the blessing to Abraham. It also must have been heartbreaking to Isaac and Rebekah for Esau to marry without asking, as was typical, for his parents’ blessing. Isaac you will remember had a father who insisted that he marry among his own people.

Without going into a discussion here as to the pros and cons of marrying outside one’s faith, we will just note that Esau did just that. The phrase that is most troublesome, however, is the next one: “and they made life miserable for Isaac and Rebekah.” Do we know anything about the reason for that? Well, for starters, we know it was a significant misery that was evident to others or why else would the story go on for generations until it had been written down for us to read. The word used for ‘grief’ is also translated as ‘bitterness’. It is likely that the different customs, culture, and religions (worshipping different gods) of the two daughters-in-law were the source of the heartbreak both girls were to Isaac and Rebekah. Whatever it was, the problem was constantly on their mind. Family fellowship was indeed lacking once they joined, but admittedly that may have started with Esau’s earlier rebellion or at the time he made the decision not only to marry one Canaanite, but two. This was clear indication that he neither cared for the blessing, nor feared the curse of God in his life.

From personal experience, I assure you children sometimes rush into marriages that end up being hurtful to them and to their families. The problem is not always one’s faith. It may the degree of sincerity one may have in his/her faith and the amount of desire they have to put God first in their life. My friend William Troth has written about that very thing in his book, The Milk and Honey Man. He talks about Christians being saved but carnal vs. the Spiritual man or woman who has truly let God be on the throne of their lives. For the Christian parent, I would recommend four things if you are in this situation: First, ask God to show you what He wants to teach you, not your son or daughter, or their spouse, in this situation. Second, continue to pray both parties feel God’s presence in a clear and strong way so that His will is done. Third, support your son or daughter in his plans subject to them being moral and godly. Four, love him or her and their spouse no matter and unconditionally forever.

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A Birthright for Lentil Stew Genesis 25:29-34

Genesis 25:29-34: And when Jacob had cooked stew, Esau came in from the field and he was famished; and Esau said to Jacob, “Please let me have a swallow of that red stuff there, for I am famished.” Therefore his name was called Edom. But Jacob said, “First sell me your birthright.” And Esau said, “Behold, I am about to die; so of what use then is the birthright to me?” And Jacob said, “First swear to me”; so he swore to him, and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew; and he ate and drank, and rose and went on his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.

We do not know what the relationship of Esau and Jacob was as they were growing up, given their different characteristics. I am sure that their household would be most exciting at times as the two young boys kidded, fought, argued with, supported, and avoided each other at different times. They eventually learned to co-exist and go about their own preferences and responsibilities.

One day Jacob had cooked a lentil (small bean common to Egypt and Syria as well as parts of modern Europe) stew that filled the air with a most inviting aroma. Esau on the other hand had been out in the field working or possibly hunting, and he was famished. From my own experience, I know that when one is famished, priorities and the value of certain things change drastically. Not only do dishes one would normally pass on become most desirous, but also one is willing to pay extraordinary prices for an item of food. A good example is paying an exorbitant price for a hot dog at the ballgame. Esau was in that situation on this particular day that Jacob had prepared lentils. Notice that Esau asks for “a swallow” of the soup. At first one may think he does not want very much, just one swallow. In fact, the transliteration of Hebrew word la’at implies ‘to swallow greedily, devour’. Esau was basically asking to devour Jacob’s lentil soup. The text continues to state that it was for this reason Esau became known as Edom, which literally means ‘I will praise him’, for Esau was prepared to highly praise his brother Jacob whose soup satisfied his hunger.

But Jacob who was more attune to assessing the opportunities of a situation given his thoughtful character realized that something could be gained in return for his lentil soup. The fact that he very quickly asked Esau to sell him his birthright suggests that Jacob had been reflecting long and hard on the fact that Esau, born just split seconds ahead of him, actually had the traditional ‘first-born birthright’ over him. What exactly that entailed we learn about later in scripture, but suffice it to say here that its privileges included becoming the family priest and ending up with a double portion of inheritance.

Esau was not at all bothered by this request. One would have thought his reply would be, “Are you out of your mind, Jacob? Do you think, as hungry as I am, your lentil soup, as good as it smells, is worth my giving up my inheritance? You have to be joking, Jacob.” Instead, Esau, perhaps fixated on his starving state, or not caring for his birthright, or simply not thinking, responded as follows: “Some day I am going to die anyway and what good will my birthright and its privileges be to me then?” There is nothing in the text to indicate whether Esau was referring to his potential imminent death from starvation or his eventual death as any other human being. I prefer the latter possibility for two reasons. First, Esau had not been long without food and secondly, it reflects the mind of one who lives for the moment rather than one who considers consequences of one’s action for the future.

One of the most important things every growing child must learn in order to succeed in life is the process by which he or she overcomes the desire for immediate gratification and replaces it with patience and thoughtful consideration of how a given decision will impact his or her life both now and in the future. That is learning that many people continue to have difficulty with well into their adult years, yet it is a critical one for the Christian.

Now Jacob heard Esau say that his birthright would not be any good to him once he died, but realized the statement only gave reason as to why Esau may consider his request without any evidence that he in fact would turn his birthright over for the soup he was about to eat. With that in mind, Jacob proceeds to get that assurance by asking Esau to swear to him that indeed his birthright was now Jacob’s. Esau complied and the birthright was sold to Jacob for some bread and his lentil soup.

This short episode ends with Esau eating and drinking what Jacob had to offer, and then rising and going on his way. But there’s an epilogue to this account. It is the same type of epilogue that can be added to any man or woman’s story after they have made a bad decision in a moment of weakness. Here it is simply stated as: “Thus Esau despised his birthright.” He wanted nothing to do with it. Perhaps because he saw no value in it and he was trying to justify his decision. It is also possible that he despised it for it represented a spiritual right as God’s priest for the family that he wanted nothing to do with. He was in essence rejecting his family’s spiritual inheritance. His character and his decisions confirmed God’s right choice of Jacob to rise in history as more powerful and ruling over his brother, Esau.


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