Shechem Adds His Offerings for Dinah -- Genesis 34:11-12

Shechem also said to her father and to her brothers, “If I find favor in your sight, then I will give whatever you say to me. Ask me ever so much bridal payment and gift, and I will give according as you say to me; but give me the girl in marriage.”

There is no record of any time between when Hamor spoke his words of request and when his son, Shechem, added his. The potential groom recognized the satisfaction of his desire to have Dinah as a wife lay in the hands of her father Jacob and her brothers. The plea is for them to allow him favor in their sight – a pretty tall order given what he had done to Dinah and how unacceptable that was for the Israelites.

But once again, they are faced with a potential offer hard to resist. In addition to all the freedom to live, marry, and do business in the area that his father had offered, Shechem is prepared to add tangible assets – whatever it will take. All they had to do was to ask him. He was willing to pay the highest thinkable price as a dowry for Dinah.

While the phrase, “if I find favor” leads one to believe that the Dinah’s father and brothers had a choice in this matter, Shechem’s closing words seems to imply that in fact they did not. “But give me the girl” is void of options. Shechem was determined to have her, one way or another. Undoubtedly, wisdom was called for on the part of Jacob and his brothers. At least Jacob knew that to say ‘yes’ would take them down a path of inter-marriage and social activity that they did not want to go. Certainly down a path that would not please God. To say ‘no’ may well mean they had a physical battle on their hands, one that they might not have won. If ever there was a need in Jacob’s family for God’s direction since they left Laban, this was the time. Would they ask for it? Would they accept it? Would they try to resolve the matter by their own thinking and with their own means?

The verses that we’ll study next give us the answer. What is important here is for us to stop and consider two things: First, can we look back on a time in our own life when we needed God’s direction but we failed to either ask for it or to follow it when He gave it? If so, can we learn from that experience? Second, is there something right now that requires that direction and we have failed to ask for it from Him, or failed to follow it when He gave it, or worse still, been fearful in pursuing it? If so, let us remember Who God is, Who He has been to mankind since the beginning of time, and Who He has been to us through all our years. This God can see you through any circumstance, His way, without you needing to fear or to tamper with the advice. Let it be so for you and me.

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Jacob Hears of the Dinah’s Rape -- Genesis 34:5

Now Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter; but his sons were with his livestock in the field, so Jacob kept silent until they came in.

I have two daughters and two granddaughters. I sit here at my desk as I study this verse and wonder just how I would react if the next door neighbor came over, while I was alone at home, and told me that one of my daughters was raped while shopping with her girlfriends downtown or that one of my granddaughters was forcibly violated in between her classes at her school. I must admit I am at a loss as to what I would do. Usually I am pretty good at predicting my actions and reactions, but not in this case. God has been pleased to spare me from that experience so far in my life. Jacob however was not as fortunate.

The Bible says he “kept silent” until his sons had come in from tending the livestock out in the fields. How long that was exactly is not clear. It could have been the rest of the day or it could have been several days or longer. Given Shechem’s demanding haste and the fact that the following verse (vs. 6) relates a meeting between Shechem’s father and Jacob, I do not imagine it was much more than one or two days at the most.

But why did he keep silent until his sons returned from the fields? Had he already made up his mind to take revenge? Did he need their physical backup? Did he need their solace and support, and if so, why would his wives, Leah and Rachel, not serve that purpose? What was really going through his mind? There are several possibilities here, some of which are shared by commentators on this verse.

One possibility is that Jacob was, by now, a run-down man who no longer had the fight in him to do what is right in regard to his family. We are not, however, so quick as to suggest that any of us would know exactly what the right thing to do in this case would be, given all the circumstances involved. But clearly, he seems to have abdicated the “family response” to his sons and Dinah’s brothers. As we shall see in our further study of this chapter, it is possible that Jacob’s lack of wise and godly action here may have been the reason for his sons’ ungodly action. This is a possibility we always need to remember as leaders of our homes and families.

Another possibility is that Jacob held his reactions back because he did not know what to do. He may have feared that he would have done the wrong thing and thus, in his mind, better not to act. There is something to be said about not reacting in anger and allowing a cooling off period to help one organize their thoughts and words for a later response.

A third possibility is that some time earlier he had relegated all the affairs of his business and household to his adult sons. Was he now at a point where either they would not allow him to do anything without their consent or he had mentally paralyzed himself into believing he could not act without their agreement? Suffice it to say that as parents, as long as we have our mental capacity in tact, we can never allow ourselves to get into that situation. As children, we should never put our parents into that position, assuming they still have their mental capacity. And the decision as to whether or not they do, is one not necessarily to be made always be our parents alone or by us alone. Ideally, both parent and children should have an agreed to understanding as to what may need to take place down the road. Alternatively, they could come to that decision together in an agreeable fashion. Sometimes it is necessary to request the help of expert third parties such as doctors, counselors, or lawyers, to help us make that decision. What is important is that we neither delegate away our rights as older individuals, nor should we as sons and daughters usurp that right from our parents. If we walk with God, setting our own wishes and comfort aside, He will guide us and make this necessary transition a smooth one.

Commentator Robert Jamieson suggests that Jacob, being a good father and man was likely very distressed by what had happened to Dinah. But he points out that he could do very little, primarily because this was a family involving the children of different wives. In some respects, the bond between a sister and her full-brothers was stronger and more direct than with a father who had several wives and many children from them. They were they ones that had to determine what they would do about their sister’s honor. You will remember that while God tolerated polygamy, it was not His chosen approach to the marriage arrangement that He had desired and recommended to Adam and Eve. Sometimes, God allows us to do many things with out free will, but doing so, is not always beneficial for us. Polygamy is only one of those.

As far as the story of Dinah goes, we can only say, “the plot thickens” and will unfold with great interest in the verses ahead.

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The Rape of Jacob’s Daughter -- Genesis 34:2

And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he took her and lay with her by force.

Dinah heads down to the town of Shechem, presumably alone, where the Hivites lived. Like any other young lady going out on the town, I am confident she made herself look as attractive as possible. I have not researched the kind of cosmetics that were available at the time, but I believe the clothing fashion craze was alive and well even then. Even knowing what happened to her as we do from this verse, we still have no basis to assume that she dressed provocatively. If she did, we could ask the question “Where were Leah or Jacob?” Did they see her dressing for her visit to town? Did they know she was going?

What follows, more so after this verse, is considered by some as one of the most shameful incidents in Israel’s history. But let’s stay with this scripture for a bit. The prince of the land and for whom the land was named, Shechem, simply sees Dinah, and goes wild. (Those that would argue she was provocatively dressed and sub-consciously looking for trouble use this fact as their evidence – he simply saw her and took her; and they argue she must have been dressed in a very seductive way.) I have never been a prude but I am still surprised at the attire of some very young teenagers waiting at bus-stops to head downtown on any given evening in our city. I am told that many actually change their clothes (discard a few layers is more like it) after they leave their houses, store them somewhere and pick them up and don them prior to returning home in the early hours of the morning.

And the taking of Dinah in this case did not just stop at flirting; the scripture says “he lay with her by force”. Yes, he was a free and powerful prince, but deep inside, he was just a slave to his own desires, or so his actions indicated.

We can ask the question, “Was no one around to stop this?” Yes, there probably were many around. First, the girls that Dinah went to see and secondly the prince’s friends and servants. But who would stop a prince in his sexual exploits then or even now? Today, even the fear of the press or media (including the paparazzi) reporting such an event does not seem to be able to prevent it. Secondly, this girl was not “one of them” – she was a foreigner or an alien. How many times still today do we hear of gang rapes (or even non-sexual physical beatings) of individuals who are of a different color, race, or creed than the perpetrators of the crime they suffer?

Indeed, the world has not changed much. So, what then is our responsibility today as we consider the upbringing of our children and grandchildren? I believe as parents (and sometimes grandparents) we need to be fully aware of what our children (long before they are teenagers) are up to and what they’re thinking and feeling. We need to know what they are reading, watching and listening to. We need to know a lot more about their friends and the families they come from than many of us do.

And we need to do all this with wisdom and love. The best way that I know how is to spend time with our children from day one; to be there for them; to be available to answer their questions; to be honest; to pray for them; and to listen to them. In short, they need to know not only that we love them, but what is more important to them is to know that we understand them. They need to trust us for answers, have sufficient freedom to make mistakes that have short-lived consequences on their own, and yet be a safety net for them when they venture off the guy-wire of life. Finally, they need to see that our relationship with Jesus Christ is real and makes a difference in how we think, feel, talk, give, and live. May God help us to do so.

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Dinah Goes Downtown -- Genesis 34:1

Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the daughters of the land.

You will remember that Jacob had at least one daughter that is mentioned in scriptures and that was Dinah, borne to him by Leah. Well, by this time Dinah is now either an teenager or in her very early twenties with no girlfriends. And as happens in the life of most youth, there comes a time when they need to explore the world beyond their father’s hold on them. Dinah was no exception.

Some of my readers may remember the song, Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love To Town written by Mel Tillis and made famous by Kenny Rogers and the First Edition in 1969. It’s about a young woman, perhaps a wife, who lives with her paralyzed Vietnam War veteran who has no capability of meeting her physical needs, and so she “takes her love to town”. The man pleads her not to, and the song ends with the line, “Oh Ruby for God’s sake turn around.”

Dinah didn’t exactly “take her love to town” but she was indeed curious and perhaps enamored by what life would be like outside her father Jacob’s camp. So she, likely of her own initiative, took it upon herself to go to the “daughters of the land”. She wanted to see what other girls her own age were up to and likely having no sisters, she goes to visit her neighbors. You will remember that the inhabitants of the land were the Hivites and in particular the family of Shechem.

Just when all his ‘outside’ concerns and fears stemming mainly from his brother’s family seem to have been alleviated, Jacob is now about to face some serious domestic or ‘internal’ challenges. Dinah, as likely the only female child was no doubt very special to both Leah and Jacob. Perhaps she was over indulged, something that research tells us nine times out of ten will lead to difficulties later in life. She just may be the source of discredit and the taker of joy from the family in the days ahead. After all, her Hebrew name did mean ‘judgment’.

So Dinah pretends to want to check out the other girls. We have no record in the text if this was just an ordinary day or whether or not there was a special event going on in Shechem. We also have no record of whether this was her first trip to Shechem or whether she had had opportunities to become more and more familiar with her neighbors than we are led to believe. Was she interested in just the “daughters” are had she noticed the interest that some of the “sons of the land” may have had for her? For whatever reason, Shechem attracted her considerably.

I hope the study of this verse and those that follow causes us to consider very carefully how we raise our children and even how we help with the raising of our grandchildren. Much wisdom and discretion is indeed required. There is absolutely no way we can do that ourselves. To raise them up to be the men and women God’s wants them to be cannot be done without the very involvement of God Himself. Our only guaranteed course of action is for us to personally have a strong and sincere relationship with God and then to entrust both our children and our raising of our children to Him as we follow His guidance and directions for us. Oh, that your household will never have to say, “Oh daughter/son for God’s sake turn around.”

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