Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Packed With Passionate Understanding of a Parent’s Pain

Strength For Parents Of Missing Children

Author: Marie White
Publisher: HAWAII Way Publishing, Visalia, CA, 2017

I must admit I was totally taken by surprise. It wasn’t just the book’s content as good as that was; it was also the dynamo author. She never ceased to amaze as I moved from one section of her book to another. 
Full disclosure – I have never experienced a missing child or grandchild. I do not pretend to have experienced the pain that those for whom this book is primarily written experience. I have lost a grandson soon after he was born. But my son and I both agree that these are two, quite different pains. – since, as believers, we can know where our loved one is rather than not knowing, as is often the case for parents of missing children.
Marie White is one such parent and the author. She is also a Christian. In the first part of her book, she speaks directly to parents of missing children. She explains how hard it is to even breathe at first. She walks us through the first week, the second week, and more of the experience, sharing the feelings, the unique pains, the agony. She describes the emotional, physical, and spiritual battlefields on which such parents conduct real warfare. With her use of scripture and personal knowledge, she inspires the reader. She talks to her audience about ‘taking every thought captive’; how to survive by what one does, thinks, and prays; how time doesn’t stop; how to deal with the feelings of guilt; the importance of not being alone; waiting for a miracle; dealing with fear; not giving up; and facing the family problems that inevitably arise.  This section is packed with love for her readers and great advice and guidance.
In part two of her book, White shares four stories of hope taken from real cases of parents who have had their children abducted. These parents never gave up. From there, she lets the experts take over as she shares five interviews key people in the field loaded with the best possible advice for those who experienced a missing child. I particularly liked the specific advice given by the private investigator as well as the advice shared by a parenting expert.  The latter surprised me with her advice to “stop telling your kids over and over that you love them, and you miss them.”  You’ll need to read the book to find out why,
Part three includes a number of great resources for those going through this pain.
But what comes out clearly from page one to the very end of the book, is Marie White’s passionate desire to help alienated parents not only survive – but rise to the point of becoming a stronger person with a purpose.
There are incredible quotations throughout the book that help drive her points home.  Her resources are endless, and she regularly sends us to her website to read full articles, see videos, and/or access another tool.
Even though these parents know they will never be the same again, Marie White dares ask them the question, “what if you’re not supposed to be?” and then quotes William Arthur Ward – “Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.”  She shows us how that is possible.  And she invites us to learn the end of her own personal story in a unique way.
As the bestselling author, Kenneth G. Eade says about White’s contribution, this is “A book no one should need, but many will cherish.” Unfortunately, there are many who do need it and should read it.  And there are many others of us who should read it in order to understand those who need it and how best to be a support.  Highly recommended for all family counselors as the advice transfers to many other areas of life.

n Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, September 18, 2018, www.accordconsulting.com

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