Overcoming Is A Choice

Dripping In Grace

Author: Kim Chadwell

Publisher:Self-Published under Kim Chadwell Ministries, Inc., Louisville, KY, 2018

“Overcoming Is A Choice”

Yes, I have heard stories about meanness. There was Cinderella, and the mean reindeer that didn’t like Rudolph, the Mean Sisters, etc. – all in fiction. And of course, there’s real life meanness that is a thousand times worse. We hear about them all the time and some of us wonder how man (or woman) can be so cruel to another man (or woman), or worse still, to a child.  No one has yet come up with a satisfying answer – save and except perhaps that there’s a spiritual void in our very being that we haven’t filled appropriately.

With this book, Kim Chadwell, takes her readers into her very difficult experience. I’m sure some will not be able to get through it all – but if you do, it’s well worth it.

From day one, Kim’s life was, let me put it mildly – horrible. The cruelty she experienced as a child is what no child should ever live through.  Sadly, many do not survive. The meanness she had to absorb mentally and physically would leave a grown man in tears. The criticism thrown at her was of the nature that even an accomplished politician could not withstand, causing him/her to resign. And all of these were constant over many years.

Kim’s life was a constantly controlled life – in both big and petty ways. The examples will make you either scream or vomit.  It’s hard to know whether that hurt her the most or if it was the fact that she was constantly told “you don’t deserve” anything? After you’ve heard that time and time again, you begin to believe. And that brings about both emotional and physical loneliness.  And loneliness leads to a desire to commit suicide. She tried.

Several years into her ordeal, Kim was dragged by her ‘parents’ to an appointment she knew nothing about. After the psychologist spent 90 minutes with her ‘parents’, while she waited in the hall without a clue as to what was going on, it was time for her to go in alone. What that psychologist said when he first spoke, changed Kim’s life. You’ll need to read her book to discover what he said and how this started Kim on the road to healing.

In letting us in on her journey, we travel with her to places where those abused because of dysfunctional relationships often get to and unfortunately, often can’t move beyond.  One such place is where the abused gets to the point where, even though there are wonderful pastries to be had, he/she only asks for “crumbs”. Because again, “you don’t deserve anything else” is continually playing over and over in your mind.

And then there is Kim’s vision about Forgiveness with its four pillars – each one playing a critical role in the process. That is worth the price of the book alone. And pastors can easily develop several sermons using Kim’s material.

She did lose me for a few pages when she introduced her “quadratic formula” which somehow ends up equating freedom to forgiveness, but I am sure many of her readers will be able to enlighten me as to how that works after they read the book.

Kim shares with us the feelings (including fear) that she experienced for years and how certain triggers will bring those feelings back. She tells us what it took to make sure that the cycle of abuse would not continue from her to her children. She shares how hard she worked to help her children deal with their mother’s abusers.

The book ends with one incredible scene that I would call the “climax” of it all – bringing together her abused life, her present situation, her children, her faith, and the battle she needed to win.  And amazingly, it’s all real life – not fiction.

Her material throughout is solid.  This is a highly recommended work for those who are abused, those who are abusers, and those who love and minister to either of them.

My favorite quote of the author’s is: “Overcoming is a choice.” Kim made that choice. She overcame.

Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, December 21, 2018, www.accordconsulting.com

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.

This Message, If Understood by the Common Man, Could Free Millions

Crossruption: The Journey of A Disrupted Life

Author: Jacob William

Publisher:Westbow Press, Bloomington, IN, 2017

The author, Jacob William, has experienced life – the good, the bad, and the ugly. He has been a successful businessperson. Yet he was being haunted by an inner emptiness that he calls the “cosmic vacuum”. Possessions and achievements, of which he had hordes, didn’t cut it.

William has done a great job of communicating what it really means to be a Christian, comparing it to what so many of us are actually practicing – a phenomenon he dubs “twenty-first century Christianity”. And as much as I wanted to argue with him, I found I could not.  I knew many of us had bought into what he describes as “outsourcing our salvation” in exchange for our actions. Our religious Christianity of today, he writes, “offered a product called God. I had outsourced its production to an enterprise network called the church where events were staged every week. . .. I was paying people to do my religion for me, because my time was too valuable, and my life was too busy for a real personal relationship with God.”

William challenges us to consider what it means, and what it takes, to be changed forever, like Joseph, Moses, and Saul of the Bible, to challenge the status quo, change the culture, and champion a new trail.

His purpose in writing Crossruption is to answer the question, “What separates the Christian whose life has been changed from the child of God whose life changes the world?”

Using his own life as an example, the author explains step by step, once we realize we no longer can go on just outsourcing our faith or buying a product called God, how to allow Jesus to do what He really came to do in our lives now, today, right here – and that was to disrupt livesand more particularly to disrupt ‘my life’.

After this well written introduction in Part I of his book, William goes on to address the Original Design applied to our creation (Part II), the Fallen Creation (Part III), the New Creation (Part IV) and the Future Creation (Part V).  Each part is a thorough investigation of Scripture relating to the titles.

In Part II, he writes, “To fill the cosmic vacuum inside me, I had to start by understanding that my identity is fundamentally spiritual.” And, “There is something left after the destruction of the body and mind of mankind, and that ‘something’ is where the identify of mankind is defined and experienced.”  He then explains that in detail.  There is a wonderful section in this part where he points out that “Science may be able to offer an alternate body and mind, but the spiritual dimension cannot be programmed.” Later adding, “Human beings cannot commune with fire, air, or water because there is a dimension difference. Humans are designed to have a relationship with God through Spirit-to-spirit communion, to experience communion in the mind and express that communion through the body.” And he shares the benefits of such uniqueness with respect to our confidence and self-worth.

Before bringing Part II to a conclusion, he writes, “If we were the result of the Big Bang or evolution, we might expect that the process of natural de-selection would have removed the stupidity of killing one another over religion by now.” I’ll let you discover what he does with that thought.

In Part III, Fallen Creation, the author goes on to explain sin. He writes, “The first murder was not the cause of sin, but sin was the cause of the first murder.” And then tells us why this is so important to grasp when he continues, “This sequence is not semantics but one that differentiates religion from relationship. . .. The disease is sin, while the symptoms are sinful actions.” As a result of our “fallen creation”, our changed spiritual state “creates a vacuum that causes us to long for something more.” William then goes on to outline thirteen Key Death Indicatorsof Christian behavior that line up “more with the fallen creation than with original design.”  If you’re like me, you’re bound to see yourself in more than one of these indicators.

In Part IV, the New Creation, Jacob William, shares some of his own story and then introduces us to the concept of the “Three M’s: Metric (the outcome), Methodology (the process used to achieve an outcome), and Measurement (that shows the progress of the methodology in achieving the metric)”. He applies these terms to how we can move from a twenty-first century Christianity to the Cross-disrupted Life that Christ died for us to have. It’s an amazing journey.

Here William shares several Key Life Indicatorswith us. These are the metrics, the outcomes, we can experience “as a consequence of the transformational relationship of communion, communication, and companionship with God. . .. Coming home to the Father for any reason other than a relationship with Him is religion.” 

Some key quotes from this section are: “We have a generation today that mimics expressions, thinking that is the evidence of God.” And there’s so much more here, I can’t begin to share it all.

In Part IV, Future Creation, his message is clear and, in some ways, comes as a gentle loving warning to his readers when he says, “Nothing will start in Heaven that had not already begun here. The eternal life of God is born in us on earth.” You’ll find his explanation of this quote in the book.

My favorite sentence sequence in the whole book?  These two: “God is relational. The Enemy is transactional.”

In conclusion, I must say that as a reviewer, I have never been so torn, on the one hand, by the value of a great message (which this book has and is) and on the other, by the style of writing. To be perfectly honest, while I love the book, the author’s insight, and its message, I did not find his several diagrams as helpful as they might have been. I also feel Jacob William is a man of great intellect and as a result, on occasion writes in a way which may require his readers to read a sentence or paragraph three or four times to grasp what he is saying. (My wife who is an avid reader of C. S. Lewis, when shown some of William’s paragraphs commented, “He’s way more convoluted than even Lewis was in some of his non-fiction writing.”) But, like Lewis, when you do grasp his points, you say, “Yes, that’s exactly right.”

Highly recommended for those who seriously want to risk having their lives totally Cross-rupted.

-->

n Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, December 15, 2018, www.accordconsulting.com

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.

Sometimes It Really Is A Conspiracy

Johnson Did It: LBJ’s Role in the JFK Assassination

Author: Alex P. Serritella

Publisher:Bookstand Publishing, Morgan Hill, CA, 2018

I must admit I jumped at the opportunity to review this book. I felt it should have been my book for based on my interaction with Texan businesspeople who knew some of the players the author talks about, there was no question in their mind, Johnson Did Itindeed. And thus, it became my belief. This book was going to tell why and how, and much more. And it delivered.

The first thing a reader has to do, however, is to realize that sometimes if it smells like a conspiracy theory, chances are it is.

Serritella’s book goes to great length to prove that in this case, when all is put in perspective, a sane, honest and non-fearing person, will come to the conclusion that the real story of John F. Kennedy’s death was kept from the public at any cost – even the murder of so many others.

We don’t know much about the author save and except he was in Chicago, has a B.A. in Psychology, has studied the JFK assassination for over 15 years and has written another book about abuse and regret in the sex-change industry. And oh yes, he is a meticulous researcher of details and information, both of which he puts to great use in this book.

His introductory chapter prepares you for what you are about to read and why it matters. And then he jumps right into telling you why anybody would want JFK dead and who they were.  The list is long but for the most part, they are all connected. On page 14 he relates Robert Kennedy’s perspective of Teamsters. Well worth the read. It reminded me of Government today in America.

He takes the time to educate us on how the CIA works. With reference to the 1954 coup in Guatemala, he explains how the U.S. tried to justify it by seeking evidence of Soviet influence in the Guatemalan government, but to no avail.  Sound familiar these days?

John Kennedy was anti-mafia, anti-war, anti-oil depletion allowance, anti-Federal Reserve System (FRS), and anti-racism. Kennedy was also the first U.S. president to have a direct phone line to the Kremlin in Moscow because he didn’t trust the CIA. These alone gave him all the enemies he could afford. But could any of them pull off his murder and cover up the evidence? No. That took a ‘higher power’.

[By the way, the FRS is not federal. It’s privately owned by member banks. It makes its own policies and is not subject to oversight by the U.S.  Think about that when you hear they’re putting rates up or down.]

Chapter three introduces us to Lyndon Baines Johnson. It appropriately is called “Scandals, Murders, Etc.” If you read nothing else in this 525-page work, read this chapter.  That is, if your stomach can handle it.  Reading it, made me want to lead a campaign to destroy or rename everything that has the LBJ name attached to it – and there are a lot of things that do.

What you’ll discover about J. Edgar Hoover is a bonus. But just as vial.

In chapter four, Serritella goes to great lengths to explain the planning and scheming behind that motorcade ride, the change of route at the last moment, and the lack of security involved. The interplay of the various security agencies involved is a story in itself. Coincidence has to be ruled out.

In chapter five, the author delves into the aftermath immediately following the assassination of the President and the players involved both publicly and behind the scenes. He recounts the murders that ensued to keep the truth hidden from the world.

Chapter six, by far the longest in the book goes into extreme detail about all the evidence, both with the wounds and weapons that were used or that the government claims were used.  This takes us to the various investigations and commissions that were authorized to address the concerns of the public. And we are provided with evidence of changed testimony to suit the desired outcomes of the Government.

Chapter seven is an account of Lee Harvey Oswald and why he was not the killer. That’s a fascinating story of how one man can be used by so many.

The eighth chapter sets up the cover-up that started after the deed was done and continues to this day. [Why has President Donald Trump blocked the release of JFK assassination files he had so quickly promised to release earlier?]  Personally, I realized that all these years I too had been duped by the Warren Commission Report which I had read (100’s of pages of it) as soon as it was published. And the chapter leaves no leaf unturned, exploring even why Robert Kennedy and others after him like Ted Kennedy remained silent with what they knew. I won’t give you any spoilers.

In his last chapter before the closing summary one, the author speculates on what exactly did happen. But as a reader, you have to decide whether what he has laid out for you in this masterpiece on the subject, is indeed the most likely scenario of what happened. If so, you have to come to grips with the fact that the American government institutions established to protect the free world, and more importantly the citizens of the United States, are indeed more corrupt than the corruption they pretend to fight.

Reading this book brought me to two major conclusions: First, what we hear on the news from all the networks and sources combined is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of what is actually going on and what our democratic governments are up to.  Second, if you get on the wrong side of these forces, there is no one but God that can save you. I’m afraid the best is not yet to come. Be vigilant. Your only source of salvation clearly does not lie in the White House.

Highly recommended for anyone who really cares.

n Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, November 24, 2018, www.accordconsulting.com

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.

Packed With Passionate Understanding of a Parent’s Pain

Strength For Parents Of Missing Children

Author: Marie White

Publisher: HAWAII Way Publishing, Visalia, CA, 2017

I must admit I was totally taken by surprise. It wasn’t just the book’s content as good as that was; it was also the dynamo author. She never ceased to amaze as I moved from one section of her book to another. 

Full disclosure – I have never experienced a missing child or grandchild. I do not pretend to have experienced the pain that those for whom this book is primarily written experience. I have lost a grandson soon after he was born. But my son and I both agree that these are two, quite different pains. – since, as believers, we can know where our loved one is rather than not knowing, as is often the case for parents of missing children.

Marie White is one such parent and the author. She is also a Christian. In the first part of her book, she speaks directly to parents of missing children. She explains how hard it is to even breathe at first. She walks us through the first week, the second week, and more of the experience, sharing the feelings, the unique pains, the agony. She describes the emotional, physical, and spiritual battlefields on which such parents conduct real warfare. With her use of scripture and personal knowledge, she inspires the reader. She talks to her audience about ‘taking every thought captive’; how to survive by what one does, thinks, and prays; how time doesn’t stop; how to deal with the feelings of guilt; the importance of not being alone; waiting for a miracle; dealing with fear; not giving up; and facing the family problems that inevitably arise.  This section is packed with love for her readers and great advice and guidance.

In part two of her book, White shares four stories of hope taken from real cases of parents who have had their children abducted. These parents never gave up. From there, she lets the experts take over as she shares five interviews key people in the field loaded with the best possible advice for those who experienced a missing child. I particularly liked the specific advice given by the private investigator as well as the advice shared by a parenting expert.  The latter surprised me with her advice to “stop telling your kids over and over that you love them, and you miss them.”  You’ll need to read the book to find out why,

Part three includes a number of great resources for those going through this pain.

But what comes out clearly from page one to the very end of the book, is Marie White’s passionate desire to help alienated parents not only survive – but rise to the point of becoming a stronger person with a purpose.

There are incredible quotations throughout the book that help drive her points home.  Her resources are endless, and she regularly sends us to her website to read full articles, see videos, and/or access another tool.

Even though these parents know they will never be the same again, Marie White dares ask them the question, “what if you’re not supposed to be?” and then quotes William Arthur Ward – “Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.”  She shows us how that is possible.  And she invites us to learn the end of her own personal story in a unique way.

As the bestselling author, Kenneth G. Eade says about White’s contribution, this is “A book no one should need, but many will cherish.” Unfortunately, there are many who do need it and should read it.  And there are many others of us who should read it in order to understand those who need it and how best to be a support.  Highly recommended for all family counselors as the advice transfers to many other areas of life.

n Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, September 18, 2018, www.accordconsulting.com

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.

If There’s a Will, There’s Definitely a Way!

Addiction, Procrastination, and Laziness:
A Proactive Guide to the Psychology of Motivation

Author: Roman Gelperin

Publisher: Self-published, Middletown, DE, 2018

This is a small book (114 pages) which packs a big message. The bottom line is this: There is hope for behavioral addicts, procrastinators, and the lazy who want to control or stop their addictions, procrastinations, or laziness. As I read the book, I was reminded of the old riddle:

           Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
           A: Only one, but the light bulb has got to want to change!

You and I (assuming we are concerned about our addictive habits, our procrastinations, and/or our laziness) are the ‘light bulb’. Roman Helperin is the ‘psychologist’.

He holds to the idea that “Nearly all self-observant persons will concede that they are not in full control of their behavior.” Then he explains why. . . and what can be done about it.

Helperin starts his book off with five examples which almost every reader can identify with – either personally, or they know someone just like that. Each example represents a multitude of other cases readers may be familiar with.  They are:

1.     The person who has a project to complete but keeps putting it off until the last minute.

2.     The person who really wants to go to the gym to work out but seems to be unmotivated to do so.

3.     The smoker who wants to stop.

4.     The person who cannot stop playing video games.

5.     The person who cannot get out of bed in the morning.

For each of these Helperin shares their frustrations. He takes us through their mental and emotional feelings.  He helps us understand their fear and the impact of not succeeding. He explains the various motivations and pleasures of wanting to succeed but also those associated with continuing in their present condition.  He distinguishes between ‘acts’ and ‘results’, contending that people do not necessarily pursue ‘acts’ that they are involved in, but rather the ‘results’ of those acts.  He shows us that there are both positive (pleasure) and negative (pain) forces for both stopping and commencing any given activity.  The greater forces win out. But our ‘willpower’ can overcome a force. It all makes for interesting, although sometimes, complex reading. 

But he doesn’t leave us there. He introduces us to some very practical strategies (what he calls ‘Our Toolbox’ to conquer the challenges before us.

For starters, we need to understand how our physical environment impacts our ability to stand up to the challenge we are trying to overcome. The frequency of applying such changes improves the likelihood of success with respect to what we are trying to achieve. The success of this is augmented by its frequency. A second strategy is to target the pleasure of overcoming the challenge. Involving others who can act as social motivators to your pursuit can also be very beneficial to your goals.  He introduces a technique called ‘splitting your attention’ to make the hard tasks more doable – but he cautions that some tasks become impossible when attention is split.  (I found this section most interesting, as I reflect on watching television and working on an essay at the same time; or watching my grandchildren working on homework – especially math – and listening to music with their headphones. His comments on this are most interesting.). And there are a number of other equally helpful tools he presents for us to utilize in our different situations.

Finally, Helperin returns to his five examples and applies all the theory he has discussed to each of them, explaining what each person could do to be successful.  Where there’s a will to achieve something or to quit something or to change one’s behavior – there’s definitely a way!

This book is recommended for all those (from teenagers and up) who recognize they’re currently behaving in ways they would rather not. Counselors will also find it a great guide to help their clients overcome addiction, procrastination, and laziness. Well worth the time and effort to check it out.

n Ken B. Godevenos, President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, August 26, 2018, www.accordconsulting.com

It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.