“You shall not commit adultery.”
As the dictionaries have been
such a useful help to us recently, we best check out the various meanings of
the word “adultery” since it is something God says we should have no part of.
Both the Cambridge and the
Merriam-Webster dictionaries define it as sex between “a married man or woman” and someone he or she is not married to. (Notice this is a politically correct
definition because it says nothing about two single or unmarried people having
sex and by implication condones that possibility.)
The Oxford dictionary
acknowledges that adultery can be between two unmarried individuals when it
defines the word as “voluntary
sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not their
spouse”. One would suppose
that if it were not ‘voluntary’ it would fall under the definition of rape, but
in my books, still a form of adultery.
The more North American
Merriam-Webster gives us some more help with this word when it provides for us
some synonyms, antonyms, related words, and near antonyms.
Synonyms
Antonyms
Related
Words
free
love, promiscuity;
disloyalty, faithlessness,
falseness, inconstancy, perfidiousness,
perfidy, treachery; affair (also
affaire), amour, fling, love affair, romance; intrigue; attachment, infatuation; entanglement,
flirtation; liaison, passion
Near
Antonyms
When you look at the synonyms and the related words, one can
easily see that adultery need not be physical alone – it may be emotional or
strictly in one’s mind. This fits in
well with what Jesus said about it several thousands of years after His Father
made His declaration on the topic when God delivered the Ten Commandments to
the Israelites in the desert. In the gospel
of Matthew, chapter 5, verse 28, Jesus says, “but I
say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her
has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Looking at the suggested
antonyms and near antonyms, one gets an idea of how we are to treat our spouses
and avoid the snares of adultery – something that by Christ’s definition many
of us are guilty of. And this is where
grace comes in – both God’s and that of our spouse. As mere natural men and women we talk about
“the first look is unavoidable” but it is the “second prolonged look” that
starts the sin. Whereas God can forgive
the sin of adultery by a truly contrite heart – David in the Old Testament is a
perfect example – He does not condone repeated adulterous behavior. The American beloved pastor and author
Charles Swindoll has a great take on this.
You can see it at Swindoll on Divorce. I personally believe there are three
grounds for separation and divorce of married couples. These are repeated adultery, repeated
physical abuse, and on-going mental debasement.
Adultery is rampant in our
society today. The dating firm Ashley
Madison encourages it openly and says it’s good for you and your marriage. God says, “No it is not”. The church today seems to accept it taking on
new members who have or are committing it.
Presidents and other public officials get away with it and then go on to
score the highest public ratings of their life as the most-beloved incumbent in
their position. And too much familiarity
among friends leads to adultery with one’s friends or the friends of their
spouse. And then there’s Internet sex
that so many men and women have fallen victim to. But God says, “Don’t do it”.
For the long term effects of adultery, I would refer you to
the very helpful Carelinks Ministries article on the topic at David's Repentance . Well worth the read.
God had a reason for making this commandment one of His
ten. Following it keeps the marriage
together which in turn keeps the family together. And that keeps society together. If you have had the chance to go with your
adulterous heart but chose against it, you have chosen wisely for the long run
and for the sake of your children.
If you have chosen to remain on the adulterous path, you can
still take your situation to God and see what He would have you do based on
your current and complex circumstances that have resulted. Get in touch with a counselor at your church
or a nearby Bible believing church. God
will not abandon you as He did not abandon David, but used Him mightily for His
purposes. That is my prayer for you.
_____________________________________________________________________
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