“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.”
The first four commandments
that we covered above deal with our relationship with God. The next six (beginning with this one) deal
with our relationship with others and thus breaking one of these, commentator
Chuck Smith says, constitutes unrighteousness before God as we would be breaking
our fellowship with our fellowmen/women.
In a crazy world like the one
we live in where God often does not figure into the equation of life for many,
it is not unusual to find Christian sons and daughters, who for one reason or
another have broken relationships with one or both of their parents. And yet, they know the Ten Commandments and
they know that the requirement to “honor them” is indeed one of them.
So what does this 5th
commandment really mean? I like what the
Cambridge dictionary gives us as the definition of this word as a verb: “to show great respect for someone
or something, especially in public”. And the Merriam-Webster dictionary says, “to show
appreciation, respect, or affection for (someone) with a public celebration”.
At face value we are to
‘respect’ our parents and to openly demonstrate that respect of them both to
them and to others through our various acts of kindness and tribute. That’s pretty strong medicine for many these
days. We are to ‘appreciate’ them and to
show them that appreciation as well as our ‘affection’. In short, honoring our parents is more than
an attitude; it is also a behavior and an act of the will. It often takes effort, and more and more of
it, as they get older.
Much has been written about
this topic over the centuries that we will not repeat here. Suffice it to say that in this 21st
century, there is global concern that we are moving towards less and less
honoring of our parents. Some may argue
some of it is justified – “they neglected me” or “left me when I was a
child”. Others say, “they can take care
of themselves, they don’t need me.” Or,
“I have my own life and so many other responsibilities.” And then there’s my favorite one, “I didn’t
ask them to have me.” And yet God tells
us straight, “Honor your father and your mother.” And as a commandment, that means no ifs,
buts, or whys.
Some commentators (like Chuck
Smith) take the approach that a son or daughter does not need to ‘honor his/her
parent(s)’ if they are not honorable, that is when they do things that their
children cannot respect. For example, an
alcoholic parent, one who lives an ungodly life, one who sexually abuses their
child, and so on. According to Smith, a
child of those kinds of parents is not obligated to honor them. I am not so sure and here is why.
First of all, God (at least
at this point in the Bible) does not make any exceptions to his
commandment. Secondly, the whole purpose
of the commandments (especially the last six) is not for the beneficiary of the
outcome of the command (e.g. the parent get honored), but rather for the
benefit of the one following the command.
Honoring our parents is not about our parents; it is about us. And God even says so in His next statement
when He tells us the reason why we are to do so. He says, that we would be allowed to live
longer in the land He gives us, that is for us today, we would be allowed to
abound longer in His blessing of us on the earth, in this life. David Guzik in his commentary on this verse
suggests that youth “rebellion is costly, and many have paid a high price
personally for their rebellion against their parents.” On the other hand, God is letting us know
here that He looks favorably upon those who keep this commandment.
Admittedly, there is no
requirement to condone what our parents may have done in many cases to harm us
physically, socially, morally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. There is no excusing of their behavior. But still God says, “Honor your mother and
your father.” We need to find a way to
be like Jesus when it comes to our fallen parents. We need to honor them without condoning their
mistakes and sins.
David Guzik sees this
commandment as an “essential building block for the stability and health of all
society. If the younger generations are
constantly at war with older generations, the foundations of society will be
destroyed.”
You and I may forget our parents and think nothing of
it. But that is not what God accepts or
approves of in our lives. It is
interesting to me that of after the commandments dealing with our relationship
with Him, the first one about our relationship with others deals with how we
are to behave towards our parents. Some
would say that it is strategically placed there to indicate that our
relationship with our parents is not really a relationship between equals as
the other commandments that follow may imply, but rather a relationship with
those who are our earthly ‘superiors’ in many respects. That may be, but as a minimum, we know this –
God wants us to honor our parents if for no other reason than their positional
relationship with us in order that we (more so than them) may be blessed. How are you doing in that?
_____________________________________________________________________
[Are you
looking for a speaker at your church, your club, school, or organization? Ken
is available to preach, teach, challenge, and/or motivate. Please contact us.]
Thanks for dropping
by. Sign up to receive free updates. We bring you relevant information from all
sorts of sources. Subscribe for free to this blog or follow us by clicking on
the appropriate link in the right side bar. And please share this blog with
your friends. Ken Godevenos, Church and Management Consultant, Accord Consulting. And while you’re here, why not check out some
more of our recent blogs shown in the right hand column. Ken.
________________________________________________________________________
It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for your comment.