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It’s All About Love: Confessions of a Caregiver
Author: John Murray
Publisher: Self-published, White Rock, BC, 2021
A Very Strong
Possibility Not To Be Ignored
With the exception of some very brief exposures to the life of a pseudo caregiver – helping my father fight his cancer and dying in his 91st year but still very capable of taking care of himself, and then helping my wife deal with her mother prior to her death at age 95 while she lived in a nursing home – I have not thought much about the life of a caregiver. Furthermore, I realize now that when one is actually acting in that role, in any capacity, one has no time to really think about the role.
As I started my review of John Murray’s It’s All About Love: Confessions of a Caregiver (self-published, 2021), I realized that the most thinking I’ve done about caregivers involves two thoughts – first, what kind of a caregiver would my wife be for me should I need one before her; and second, what kind of a caregiver would I be should she need one. Neither of those questions could be fully answered in my mind due to the lack of real knowledge about the whole thing. I no longer have that excuse.
John Murray’s book is a must read for anyone who is a caregiver, knows a caregiver, or loves a caregiver. Murray writes from his personal experience of over thirteen years of being one for his beloved wife, Rita. He writes as a trainee in a never-ending apprenticeship program. He studies hard and he shares his findings and his feelings. And we benefit.
It is estimated there are over 40 million caregivers in North America and the number is growing. Sixty percent of them care for their spouses. I was shocked to hear about 7 out of 10 men abandon their wives when the chips are down.
Through his writing, Murray teaches us, as a bonus, a lot about Parkinson’s, the disease his wife is afflicted with. From both the caregiving and the Parkinson’s perspective, he provides us with lots of pitfalls to avoid and tells us why.
As I read the book, I thought that couples that are nowhere ready for one of the two to be a caregiver at this time, should read this book together and commit themselves to be there for the other when the time and need arises.
Part-way through the book, the author provides us with a typical routine day of his taking care of Rita. Just reading the list exhausted me – mentally. But that’s what it takes. Elsewhere he discusses what has to be given up – together as a couple, and also individually as a caregiver. This is not an assignment for those who love to have a good time. But it is an assignment which is deeply steeped in love and affection.
Finally, John shares with us the important impact of both his and Rita’s faith in God, the support of their family, friends and their local church. We are allowed to share his internal battles won each time by remembering that Rita is not a patient with an illness, but his beloved wife. And by remembering that he is not just a caregiver, but her loving husband.
Near the end of the book, John invites you to ponder “your story” – because each of our caregiving stories will be different – each caregiver, each recipient of our care, and each illness is different as are the other variables – the help from family, the financial situation, the available facilities where you live. But still there are incredible “tips” that John gives us that we can all benefit from.
I strongly recommend the book – you need one in your house for when the time comes; you need copies for your close relatives; and some for those that are caregivers now and haven’t had time to think about what they’re going through. John’s book will provide each reader with a realistic but positive view of what it means to love through the sharing of this most challenging act of service.
The book (paperback and e-book) is available through Amazon.ca (at: It's all about LOVE on Amazon) and other book retailers but can also be purchased at a lower price from www.jmurray.ca (paperback only).
n Ken B. Godevenos, is the retired President, Accord Resolutions Services Inc., Toronto, Ontario, January 23, 2022. You can go “Digging For Scriptural Gems” with him at https://www.youtube.com/user/accordconsulting/videos.
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#56 -- I Samue
#56 -- I Samuel 17:20-27 -- this passage presents an excellent example of what Christians should be indignant about. Are you? Join us as we study this together and share thoughts on YouTube https://youtu.be/zoqUeNqdSt4
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#55 -- I Samuel 17:12-19. In this study we see an anointed king be given a servant's task. But would we do it? And is there another example? Join us on YouTube as we study the Old Testament together Digging for Scriptural Gems. This episode's URL is: https://youtu.be/dyedf4VhBg0
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Lots to debate in this passage as we find out and lots to learn about arguing or expecting our life to be trouble free. Join us in studying the O.T. together. https://youtu.be/pGgD-FzVcAo
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It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.
A new King is anointed for Israel and we get a chance to consider what it means to be anointed and what it would take. Join us. You may be surprised. You'll certainly be informed. On YouTube at: https://youtu.be/-nqUHUOfUDU
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Have you ever wanted to obey God but were afraid to do so? Have you ever just told 1/2 the story in order to do what you wanted to do? If so, this short study on YouTube may help you deal with these situations and tell us what you think. https://youtu.be/EmgpplvTzvs
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Just looking at one verse this time and it's a big one -- all about GRIEVING and how God may want us to deal with. We'll look at four types. Join us. https://youtu.be/iJWh_9Sq00Y
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It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.
It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.
In this episode we get another glimpse of God's likes and dislikes. What come into play is obedience, sacrifices, pride, and rejection. And each of them say something to us today. Does rejection have a part in our relationship with God? Join us and find out: https://youtu.be/0a7CJSwOQBw
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It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.
In these two verses, we get some excellent role model behavior of how we should feel when others fail, especially in God's work. And what we should do about it. Join us as we study one of God's regrets. Watch it here: https://youtu.be/dBMJcbwcSQw
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It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.
It would be great if you would share your thoughts or questions on this blog in the comments section below or on social media.
Some passages in Scripture have applications that are useful throughout history. And some of those, sometimes also seem as being applicable to you and me right now, today, as we deal with our loss of freedom, and as the world seems to go 'mad'. This is one that does that. See if you agree with me. Join me in my devotional study at: https://youtu.be/MAmb9F0JUgA
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Six packed verses help us see why God may not be answering our prayers and on avoiding making decisions we may well regret. Join us in our study on YouTube. Here's the link: https://youtu.be/LPz7LoQnhRM
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